Holding His Ale

Chapter Eleven

Harley was slumped in Joker's armchair, sulking in the dark of the Fun House and staring emptily at a sitcom on the TV. She briefly glanced over at a spoon and the large tub of cookie dough ice cream on the side to her left, and with a sigh she placed the tub onto her lap. She cracked open the lid, sighing again as the scent of processed milk and cream filled her nostrils.

Even that reminded her of him.

The sitcom's laughing track made her roll her eyes as she picked up the metal spoon with her neat fingers, its coldness intriguing her.

"Oh Puddin'," she whispered, baby blue eyes squeezed shut with heartbreak. "I wish you'd come back …"

She dug the spoon into the caramel coloured ice cream, stuffing it into her mouth as she slowly sobbed, the sitcom having the complete opposite effect on her.

"Owh Misterh Jway!" she cried, words muffled from the amount of food crammed in her mouth.

Crink!

Harley jumped into the air at the sound and the tub of ice cream slipped from her tiny hands, smacking against the floor and sending a ripple of creamy half-melted ice cream pooling across the ground.

Harley's blue eyes grew wide, red from the stress and tears but darting around like a deer that had just heard a gunshot ring out.

"Who's there?!" she yelled, her voice steady unlike her very frightened expression.

A brief humming echoed around the lair, her arms reaching up to hug around her torso as the small footsteps grew in volume, to heavy, dank ones. She let out a little "eek!" and took a step back, starting forwards as the door behind her slammed shut.

"Tee-hehehehe…"

Harley's eyes widened at the sound and she gasped when she saw a briefly human outline slowly swaying towards her.

As the shape came closer, she squinted at it, and it was strangely familiar – where had she seen that figure before? It was tall and lanky, but oddly staggered, which looked strange because she was used to seeing the shape majestically standing upright.

"Tah!" it proclaimed loudly, a high pitched Joker laugh ringing out devilishly as he lunged towards her and pushed her over in the darkness, staggering over to where she landed.

"Gahahahaha!" Joker laughed, tears watering from his bloodshot eyes, each tear laced with apparent intoxication. "You smell like milk – and caramel! Gahahahaha!"

Harley looked up at him helplessly from the ground, eyes wide with happiness and wonder… she'd never seen him so hyper before. Which meant she didn't know what was to come…

"I-I had some ice cream." She replied pleadingly, swallowing when he offered her his hand and pulled her up from the dusty floor. "P-Please don't be mad Mr J! I was upset and – I was missin' you!"

"Awwwww baby!" he exclaimed with a lopsided wet smile, white teeth gleaming at her. "C'mere!"

Joker outstretched his arms, like he was waiting for her to into them. Yet she stayed at least a metre away from him, a puzzled look on her face as she sniffed in his direction.

"Where have you been? You smell… "

Several expressions flickered over his features – confusion, anger, hurt, sadness, and finally giddiness.

He placed a hand over his closed eyes, rubbing them with his pointed thumbs as he sniggered.

"Harley, Harley, Harley…" he breathed, in between laughs and snorts. "You didn't reeeally think I came back here to apologize to you, did you?"

"I – I – I don't care why you're here! You hurt me!" she yelled, little red hands balled into fists as she shook them. "And you come to me all – all – mind game-y and smelling of alcohol! I hate it! This ain't you! This is all…"

His face wore a serious emotion and his posture stiffened back to normal.

"This is all an act, Harl?" he finished with an evil smirk. "Of course it is. I never drank a single drop of alcohol tonight, did I? I mean – look at me! I'd be on a hospital bed after having all those cocktails! Heh! I paid off this so-called woman who had the most hideous eyebrows I've ever seen – they're worse than Pam's Harl! – and she replaced all the vodka with water, 'cos y'know both are clear and obviously it was my idea – "

"We ain't got any money though … How'd ya pay– "

"I threatened to chop her limbs off using a fire axe – even strip clubs have fire regulations – I find that, a thing of beauty…" he sighed, shaking his head in amusement.

Harley gave him a small smile, eyes brightening as she stepped closer to him.

Joker grinned back and placed a long fingered hand on her pale cheek, and she snuggled the rest of her face into his palm. As soon as she stood on her tiptoes for a kiss, he snatched it away in realization and shoved her back, earning a rejected yelp from Harley in reply.

"Why are you back here?! Do you really think I want to see you after what you said to me, you little brat!"

She narrowed her eyes, "I'm back here because I have nowhere else to go! So my only option is staying with you – you homicidal piece of sh – "

There was a low rumble, and the sound of airplane rotors coming closer made the two of them pause their argument. After the sound hadn't gone for another ten seconds, Joker and Harley both put their arms up to strike one another in unison, eyes wide and filled with rage.

The airplane noise soon grew louder and louder, then a sudden muffled explosion and jolt of the earth made Harley topple onto Joker, who also stumbled back, the two of them landing on the floor with a pained "Oof!".

"Wh-What was that?" Harley whispered, hugging tight to the Joker's chest, to which he pushed her off a little.

"Get off! Get offa me!" he yelled, flinging his arms in the air in an attempt to flick her off him, like she was an annoying fly (which he often said she was). She stayed close to him, cuddling him tightly out of fear. He sighed and gave up, grumbling curses when she smiled into his chest.

"Oh! That was Harv's little present." Joker chuckled, putting a hand on his forehead to shield his eyes from the dark as well as shielding his amusement. "A good old plane wreckage right over his favourite strip club! Let's just say that, that plane of his certainly wasn't … delayed! Heh! And ugly old Caterpillar Eyebrows? She'll be mere strands of DNA when her body is found blown to bits, in all corners of Gotham!"

He giggled again.

"Couldn't have him finding out that I 'cheated' could I?" he whispered down to Harley with a wink.

When he didn't get a reply, he frowned, "Harl?!"

All he got in return was a light snore and a little coo.

He rolled his eyes, then smiled, watching her sleeping peacefully on him.

"Me too Kiddo," he said quietly, small smile clinging to his lips.

He closed his eyes and laid lifelessly beneath her, arms by his sides instead of hugging around her.

His smile grew wider and he kissed the top of head, whispering, "Me too."