"Valentine, where are you going off to again?" Diego asks.
"To cHeEkY nAnDoS" Valentine mocks Diego.
"Very funny, Valentine. But really, where are you going?"
"I'm getting a big mac"
"For the 6th day in a row?"
"Yeah??"
"Americans and their big macs..."
"Shut up, Diego." Valentine leaves.
"Go each yoor fa t burgeh, yew schewpid ÆMËRĪÇÆN" Diego yells as Valentine closes the front door.
"What. The fuck." Pucci says, looking in the fridge. "Who the fuck took my Bible???"
"Why would your Bible be in the fridge??" Diego looks as Pucci.
"It makes it more holy. I bet you didn't know that, did you? Of course you didn't. You're not religious."
"Whatever. Hey, can you hand me one of those cheese sticks in the drawer?" Diego sits down in the living room.
"Are you insane?? You do know that cheese is the food of the Devil??"
"Excuse me??"
"The devil is made of cheese, Diego."
"You know what, yeah. Sure. The Devil is made of cheese." Diego lays down on the couch. "Hand me a cheese stick anyways?"
Pucci yeets a cheese stick at Diego. "You'll go to hell for this, dino boy."
"WRYYYYY" Dio yells as he runs down the stairs and sprints to the freezer. "WHO TOOK MY DINO NUGGIES?"
"Dio...."
"DID YOU TAKE THEM, PUCKEY?" He yells at Pucci.
"No, but I can get you more Dino Nuggets, ya cutie <3" Pucci winks as Dio.
Dio jumps up and down like a little kid. "I WANT THEM NOW! I'LL KILL WHOEVER TOOK THEM!"
"Deînœ Nûggëts? Pæople rēally be eating Dēinœs nœw?" Diego says from the couch.
Kira looks up from his book at Diego. "No, Diego. They're chicken nuggets shaped into dinosaurs."
"Ohhhhh. Hey, your nails are getting pretty long, Kira. Can I paint them?"
"You want to paint my nails?"
"Pleeeeease???"
"I mean, I guess it would make for some valuable bonding time, so why not?"
"Yesss! C'mon, Kira, let's go upstairs for some quiet time away from these freaks!"
"Hell yes!" They go upstairs.
The La Squadra Household
"Hey, where's Risotto?" Asks Melone.
"He told me he needed to do some errands and that he'll be back in about 6 hours." Prosciutto says as he lights a cigarette.
"Hey, isn't today his birthday?" asks Formaggio.
"Holy shit, Formaggio, you're fucking right, it is!" Ghiaccio says.
"Heh, isn't that geezer like 50 now? Happy Birthday to him." Illuso climbs out of a mirror in the living room.
"We never really celebrated his birthday, so can we have a birthday party for him this year?" Pesci asks.
"He's like 50, Pesci." Formaggio responds.
"Even then, Formaggio, we could at least show some appreciation for him, considering he's our capo and does a lot for us." Prosciutto gets up from his chair and grabs his wallet.
"Where are you going, Pros?" Melone asks, getting up and following Prosciutto.
"I'm going to the store. I'm buying liquor, pasta, and pizza." Prosciutto opens the door to the base.
"Well I'm coming with you." Melone says.
"Me too," the rest of the gang says in unison.
"Fuck." Prosciutto whispers under his breath. "Whatever, just behave."
(Time skip)
The gang comes back to the base with everything they needed, Risotto still absent.
"Well he should be back in about..." Prosciutto looks at his watch. "two hours. Quick, everyone, tidy up. Illuso, can you help me with the liquor and the pizza? Melone and Ghiaccio, make some Spaghetti Aglio e Olio." Prosciutto throws a pack of Spaghetti to Melone. "Ghiaccio, there's spices, cheeses, and pasta sauce in the kitchen. Behave yourselves in the kitchen, please. Formaggio, Pesci, start cleaning up. Me and Illuso will join you in a few minutes."
(Time skip)
Prosciutto, Illuso, Pesci, and Formaggio get done cleaning the base.
Prosciutto gets up. "I'm gonna check up on the angry ice cube and the horndog. Please refrain from touching the liquor and the pizza until Risotto gets back."
Prosciutto opens the door to the kitchen. "Holy shit, that smells good. How d- oh. Sorry. I-" he walks out.
Formaggio walks up behind Prosciutto. "What did you see, Pro-?"
"Melone and Ghiaccio are lovers."
"What."
"They're making out in the kitchen."
"Wait, I wanna see!"
Prosciutto grabs Formaggio's wrist. "Let them be."
(another time skip)
The gang, Sorbet and Gelato included, is playing Spin the Bottle in the living room when they hear the door open.
"Oh my god, Risotto's back!" Melone gets up.
"Sit down, Melone." Ghiaccio says as he grabs Melone's wrist. Melone blushes and sits.
The tall goth man walks into the base and into the living room. "What the fuck are you guys doing?"
Prosciutto walks up to Risotto and grabs his hand. "We were waiting for you. Happy birthday, Risotto. Come with me, I'll open the liquor."
Risotto holds onto Prosciutto's hand as he gets dragged into the main room, the rest of the gang following them.
"What's all this?" Risotto asks.
"We're throwing a party for you, to show our appreciation of everything you do for us."
"Oh, wow. Thank you, guys. This... this means a lot."
Sorbet walks up to Risotto. "Me and Gelato got something for you.." he says as Gelato gives a wrapped box to the capo.
Risotto opens the box to reveal an outfit. It's a more detailed version of his own showy top, with gold and black striped bottoms.
"That's.. that's beautiful. Wow. Thank you both so much."
"Risotto, me and Ghiaccio made some Spaghetti Agolio e Olio for you." Melone says as he serves a plate of the flavorful pasta for the goth man at the table. Ghiaccio pours red wine in a glass and places a napkin down. "Please enjoy, capo." Melone says. Risotto sits down. "Thank you." He takes a bite of the pasta. "You and Ghiaccio made this?"
"Do you like it?" Ghiaccio asks.
"This is amazing. It's impressive. I didn't know you two could cook."
"We worked as a couple~" Melone says and smiles at Ghiaccio. Ghiaccio smiles back and gives Melone a kiss on the cheek.
"Awwww~" Sorbet says. "You two are cute!"
Risotto finishes the pasta. "Thank you, guys. So much. Seriously."
-END OF CHAPTER-
YOU ARE READING
JoJo Villains but they live together in a very bizarre neighborhood
FanfictionThe minor antagonists are included as the "cheeky" neighbors
