What's Left of Me

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Author's Note:

A little chapter :))

****

Watch my life,
Pass me by,
In the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time
Are becoming clearer

PUNK POV-

After the whirlwind of chaos and emotional trauma, I've finally gotten a small grasp of myself again. Slowly but surely, I'll be healing this giant scar across my heart. Paige got a chance to see the vulnerable side of Phil, CM Punk, and she still stuck through it with me. We've become closer because of it all.

That same night, we settled to just talk things out. She told me more about her life. Story time with her gave me new information, which also came with more respect and adoration.

I don't wanna waste another day
Stuck in the shadow of my mistakes

Ape hasn't called or made any kind of contact since our argument. I expected that. I expect her to completely throw me away for the rest of her life. I used to be afraid of her rejection, but now, it's an idea a part of me welcomes. My, how things change when love enters the situation.

Cause I want you,
And I feel you.
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

And ever since April has trickled out of my thoughts, I've been focusing on Paige.

She's such a beautiful girl.

Everything about her creates this light feeling of young love. The way we act so ourselves around each other, the way we mess around while trying to hold deep conversations, is like a dream. It's taken my love for her up to another level, a higher level. She doesn't expect me to do or buy things for her like other girls do or. Paige just wants me there, period.

I've been dying inside,
Little by little,
No where to go,
But going out of my mind
In endless circles,
Running from myself until,
You gave me a reason for standing still

On Thursday, we stayed in the house all day doing the stupidest things we could think of just because we felt like it. A lot of disgusting food challenges, prank wars, Nerf gun battles, and watching the funniest movies in my DVD collection, you name it, we did it. We even wrestled for a few hours, taking apart the couch cushions and building our own "ring". I haven't had this much fun since I was a kid. It took my mind away from it all.

She takes my mind away from it all.

Cause I want you,
And I feel you.
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

On Friday, we went to the beach. She didn't have a lot since all of her swimming and sand wear were back in Florida, so I let her pick out a few swimsuits in one of the fancier stores in Hollywood, like a little shopping spree. She isn't like all the other Divas I've dated, (excluding AJ) where they go for the newest, most expensive piece of clothing just for the hell of it. The bikini Paige chose complimented her style and gave me a pretty awesome view next to the waters.

After spending the whole day in the California sun, we decided to go back to the apartment we were staying at and order take out.

That night, we ate and watched our favorite matches on the WWE Network until we fell asleep.

It's falling faster,
Barely breathing,
Give me something,
To believe in
Tell me: It's not all in my head

Take what's left
Of this man
Make me whole
Once again

This Saturday morning though at 3 AM, I had to rally to get ready and leave for the airport. It's time to return to what we love being most professional wrestlers.

Cause I want you,
And I feel you,
Crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger,
Like a burning,
To find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken,
And I'm faded,
I'm half the man I thought I would be:
But you can have what's left of me

We'll take things slow. We're both in vulnerable positions in our lives and the last thing I'd want to do is to destroy what we've built by rushing everything all at once. I'm not that type of guy. In this relationship, lust and sex doesn't drive me because with Paige, it's a true connection. Most of the time, I just want to keep her smiling and laughing instead of wanting to touch her like that.

She's too precious, like a brand new diamond necklace, I treat her heart with value and delicacy.

Of course, that excludes physically wrestling where we go at it like it's nothing. She's a tough chick in the ring. And that's one of the things I admire her for, that fierce grit and the determination that's always in her eyes.

She's an all around perfect match for me.

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just running in circles all the time
Will you take what's left of me?

Just running in circles in my mind

Will you take what's left of me?

The last couple of days spent before returning with the WWE family would be hard to compare, or explain.

We board the plane, on route to Las Cruces, New Mexico for a live houseshow.

As we settle into our seats, I lace my fingers with hers on the arm rest. Paige turns to me with a small smile already in place. Her eyebrows perk up. There goes a leaped heartbeat. When I take in this image of her, all I see is the genuine spirit I love with every piece of my own soul. I've made the right decision with this girl.

I lean over our arms, hands still together, and give a kiss on her lips. When we pull apart, I can see her eyes still looking down at my mouth, then slowly travels up to meet my eyes again.

"What was that for?"

"For everything," I reply.

The plane buzzes and we're rolling down the runway. Time to face the world ahead of us.

****

Author's Note:

Thank you to those who keep reading! :)

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