unbreakable ✖︎

•Ch.22•

I woke up not remembering much new years and yesterday was pretty much just a blur. I hopped out of bed and saw some small decorations for a party with just us today, since the like that video is gonna drop today.

The guys showed us the video and its really good but it made me a little jealous seing Nate with that girl. I know its just for the song but it bothered me.

Matt hasn't been around much lately and its starting to worry me knowing that sydney is in town. It honestly scares the shit out of me. I knew it wasn't the smartest idea after all the drama but its what I wanted at the moment, but maybe I don't want that anymore. Like it was all the material things I wanted the history but I wasn't thinking for now.

Sometimes I just ponder on the thought on if I even want to be here anymore. Sometimes I just want to rid myself of all of my problems, but then I think maybe someone will actually feel pain that I am gone, and I don't have enough to put someone through that.

I dragged myself out the bed and out to my range rover because I wanted to change up my look. New year, New me. I decided I was gonna get my hair dyed, new clothes, and pedicure and manicure, because im feelin good today.

I was walking out the house and decided why not be a bad ass today. So I decided to get a tattoo but I would need someone to go with me, so I ran back inside and grabbed Nate, explaining on the way out since he had experience with tattoos.

I drove to the nearest mall, and went into the salon while Nate went to shop around for a bit, since I wanted my makeover to be a suprize. I finished in about 2 hours or so, and called Nate and we met outside of pacsun. We went in and also many other stores and I probabky blew tons of money but who cares.

We walked out the mall and Nate got in the drivers seat and drove us to a tattoo parlor. "You know I always liked a bad ass", he said making me go insane on the inside.

Nate reached his hand over the console and intertwined our hands together. We pulled into the place, and honestly it didn't hurt very much probably because I have a high ass pain tolerance.

We walked out and I got a notification from Sydneys twitter and of course it was A pic of her and Matt kissing. It made me upset but not as bad as I hopes because I knew I didn't belong with Matt I belonged with Nate.

When we reached the car we sat on the top and just talked about everything and we kissed. It felt nothing but right, and I know it was mutual. I remember back when we were in high school and we were best friends. The only ones that know are of course Jack Jack and Sam, but we were really good friends. No one could ever come between that he is a really chill guy, and I always had this crush on em.

We got back in the car and drive home, because the party was in a little while. With all this badass stuff today I actually kind of like it, I think I might take it up full time.