The death and return of Hollie Barnes

Chapter 3

I sit looking out the window of the compound. I'm going to miss this. A week. That's the amount of time Dad gave me until the plan goes into action. It's not enough. I want to reach out a tell him to give me more time. Just one more day. One extra day. I want it. I want it so badly it hurts. My chest aches, and for the third time this week, tears fall onto my arm, making the same sound water does when it drips into a full bath.

I sit, writing letters to each member of my family, each unique to my love for them.

Dear Peter,
If you're reading this, I'm dead. Please, don't worry about MJ and Emily. Dad and Pops have them safely relocated. Despite my pride that I love keeping so much, I must apologize. I've always loved you like my brother. I know we haven't always agreed, but in death, disagreements don't tend to matter as much. I'd say we would meet in heaven, but we both know I'm sitting with the devil. Guess I'll have to settle on seeing Wade down here in this firey dungeon. Love you Spider-Man.,
H.B

Dear Sasha,
Sasha Sasha Sasha. If you are reading this, I'm dead. I'm going to miss you kid. You've always been a stubborn little girl. The fire inside you burns brighter then you know. You're going to make a great mother. And yes. The moment I brought him up, I knew Damien would become your son. I hope you find the love of your life. You deserve to settle down like you've always dreamed. Love you kid.,
H.B

Dear Bruce,
I wish you and greeny knew how much you really did for me Bruce. You've made me happier then you know. You're a smart man. I know you've figured out what's really going on by now. It worked Bruce. Thank you.,
H.B

Dear Thor,
The God of Thunder! If I was there, we would drink beer and scream at the bartender for another! I'll drink with you're sister Hela just for the HELA IT. Lol. My jokes are bad.,
H.B

Dear Gwen,
                    Or should I say, Woman spider. I'm still laughing at my terrible jokes. If you're reading this, I'm dead. Don't worry about me. I'm dancing with the devil. Our favorite song is Highway to Hell. Uncle Tony would like that. I've always wanted to visit another earth, so take a piece of me with you when you go. Peace out Gwenny.,
                                       H.B
       I slip a silver and red necklace for Gwen to take with her when she goes home. I close the envelopes setting them aside. Goddamn it. I'm going to miss them
                                    ....~....

*two days later*

"You're going to do great." I sit next to Sasha in my red mustang given to me by my uncle, the one and only, Tony Stark. "You think so?" Sasha looks at me, her face wearing an uncertain expression. A few days ago, I had received a call from a very happy Nick Fury confirming the adoption of one Damien Balshire to one Sasha Romanoff. The idea that Sasha would have the child she had always wanted, even at such a young age, struck a small chord of happiness and contentment within me.

The boy had ice abilities, having been birthed by a woman experimented on by HYDRA themselves. The poor girl had been so sickly that she had passed away in childbirth. He was a beautiful boy, his eyes full of life and joy. His head was full of hair, and his smile like a ray of sun. He was quite the little bundle of happiness.

"I'm scared Hollie." I look at her my eyes full of despair. I wish I could tell her I was too. I wish I could hug her as tight as possible. I want to tell her to treasure this trip to get Damien, for it will be the last time she sees me. To tell her I'm lost and struggling, and that yes, I'm going to have a child. One of my very own. But I can't. The reality of it all is so hurtful, so heart wrenching that thinking about it makes me break a little.

"It's going to be alright Sasha. I can't tell you that being a parent is easy. O god no. It's far from perfect. The down days are difficult. You fear like you're going to cry or break apart. In the end those down days are worth it. They're worth suffering through. The up days are worth sacrificing everything for. The days when you wake up in bed with your wife to discover her holding your child in her arms. When they wake up and your little girl hugs you and tell you you're the best mommy ever. The times you watch her grow. Her hair curly and brown like her mothers and those blue eyes you swear look like yours. She's everything to you. When the world moves, it moves around her. It moves around them. You would do anything for them. Absolutely anything."

Sasha smiles at me. "I hope I can have that too.." "You will Sasha. You will." And I believe it. Somehow, I just know all will be ok.

I pull in the parking garage, putting to car in park. "We have arrived!" I say it in the happiest voice I can summon. She closes the door a feel moments later a look of happiness on her face.

As we get into the elevator, I press the plain black button and pull the red lever. The elevator begins to descend into the ground below ground level. I can barely feel it as it moves quickly. Sasha looks over at me sudden concern on her face. "Hollie? You ok?" I feel numb, unfelt tears pushing themselves out of my eyes and meeting my cheeks. "I-I don't know what'd I'd do if I ever lost one of you" The words fall out of my mouth before I can stop them. Sasha speaks, her voice quiet. "Hollie, what's going on?" I quickly wipe away the tears and let my face fall back into its normal façade. "I don't know what came over me. I'm fine"

Suddenly the SHIELD AI speaks. "Running facial recognition." A green light passes over my face. "Welcome Miss Barnes." The doors open to reveal Nick standing on the other side. "Well, well. The last time I saw you Hollie was when you and your father fought over who had more guns." 'Nick!" A smile spreads on my face and I hug him tightly. Nick Fury barely lets anyone hug him. "Hi kid." I let go of the hug and turn towards Sasha. "This is Sasha Romanoff." Sasha tries not to look intimidated but it's difficult around Nick. "Good to meet you Sir." She reaches out and shakes his hand. He smiles. "I like this one. Come with me"

We turn around the corner and travel up a few flights of stairs before we reach the white washed hospital wing. Nick opens up the third door on our left. The room is painted blue and a crib lies in the middle. He reaches down a picks up a small gurgling bundle of joy. "This, is Damien." He hands the boy to Sasha who looks at him with love. "He's beautiful." She looks up at Nick. "Thank you sir." "No problem Miss Romanoff. I already have the car seat in your car Miss Hollie. Why don't you go on up to the car Miss Romanoff."

Sasha smiles and heads towards the elevator. Once she's out of ear range, Nick grabs my shoulders and furrows his brows. I look up at one of my three father figures and burst into tears. He grabs me and allows me to cry into his chest. "You're going to alright. It's going to be ok. I've got you kid. I've got you." And with that, I breathe in a sigh of relief.