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"How did you even get these?"
"Lo—long st-story."
I lean over in the wooden chair I was subconsciously cooped up in, carefully examining Toby's open palm that he awkwardly (and not so willingly) displayed from across the table. The various bite and scratch marks are undeniably caused by a human, possibly by himself. If that is the case then this is no doubt a form of self harm.
The theory alone brought up some sort of conflicted feeling within me. Torn apart between if I should ask him if it is or just leave him alone. As a medical student it's my job to ask questions, it's what I'm trained to do so I can help patients out. But then again... I'm not a doctor... and Toby's not my patient. Therefore I cannot act as if he was my test subject... all I can really do is just help him out without question.
Besides, the topic of self harm itself is such a slippery thing to grasp onto, it's not my place to push Toby into openly talking about it if my theory really did add up. Hell, the guy already seems to be pushing himself to an extreme just by being near me. The rest of the walk back to my place, he couldn't even look me in the eyes... or speak in general.
I hesitate to reach out, stopping myself halfway and taking a moment to stare up at Toby.
His shoulder gives out a monstrous crack, his body shuddering forward under the pressure. My guess is that the cause is from Tourette's, definitely not as severe from what I've seen before but highly noticeable. His expression remained the same, brown eyes lowered awkwardly as his tongue pokes the beige bandage plastered on his cheek.
How could someone look so serene yet troubled all at the same time? It truly baffles me. It almost felt weird to ask for his attention, like looking straight at a hundred year old antique. No matter how much you're drawn to it, all you can really do is just observe in hopes that it won't crack.
Lowering my own gaze, i push past the lump in my throat and clear not only that, but whatever excess thoughts that seemed to hang off like a dirty bandaid. "Can... i can bandage up your hand if you want?"
Ended: somewhere around the beginning of October lmao
