to Niall, my goofball
You're probably wondering what weird stunt I'm up to now since you've just pulled out a handwritten letter from your mailbox from me. Well sadly Ni, this isn't the sort of stunt you'd expect from me. I know I was supposed to head to Ireland with you in a couple of months so we could house hunt together, and I'm sorry I'm telling you this way, but I most likely won't be joining you. You can still go find a house you think we'd both like and we could close on it as soon as I return though!
I'm sorry, I know you've been looking forward to this forever, especially because it means we'd get to do all the things we wanted to in Ireland together when we were younger, but I need to do this. I'm stuck Niall, and I have been since we decided on the hiatus. I think we all know that its going to be a lot longer than 18 months. You all have been able to get through the rough patch and continue what you love, but its been over a year and I haven't yet, and I'm done with being stuck.
I never thought I would have to envision myself on stage alone. It was always you five by my side, and I still can't quite comprehend that from now until further notice, that if I were to perform, I'd be on stage without my boys.
I'm going to be gone for a couple of months. you won't hear from me during that time. It's nothing against you, you know I love you, but I need to learn to be on my own in my music and I can't do that when every time I look at one of you and remember how much I miss our golden days. I won't be active on social media, I won't tell anyone where I'm going unless they absolutely need to know, I won't talk to anyone who brings me back to Los Angeles or London. But I'll be fine, and I can guarantee you I'll be safe where I'm going. I'll call Liam when I get there, and I'm sure he'll pass on the message to you. I'll be home soon Ni.
I love you,
Loralei
