Not quite ready /k.sj + k.nj/ NAMJIN SMUT

this could work

Namjoons POV

I sit up, searching for my shirt in the dark sweaty car. It's under my ass, soiled. So I just leave it, buttoning my pants back up and buckling my belt.

"Uh.. you need a ride home?"

I shake my head softly, looking for the shoe I dont know why was taken off. Jin reaches over, grabbing something and tapping my shoulder.

I don't say anything, just take the sneaker and slip it on. Whys it untied? What was even the point of taking it off?

"..you should go and get some pizza, it's almost midnight, at least call a cab"

His hand rubs the back of his neck awkwardly, eyes everywhere but me.

"No, I'm good. Work provides breakfast anyhow."

My voice is hoarse, it sounds like I've been crying. I want to, but I was just bouncing on his dick.

"Yeah.. yeah okay." I nod, grabbing my phone and crawling out. I shut the door and begin to limp back. I shouldn't have texted, I just got back to walking fine. And now I feel dirty again, gross.

As soon as he came he got up to fix himself and ended up in the front seat. He sat with me maybe three minutes before he decided that was over and he needed to get home.

I look down solemnly, I cant lie, I was hoping if I asked him out on another date he would be sweeter. But it only seemed like he was interested in sex with me. That hurts my feelings a bit, just like it would anyone else's. No one likes being used.

My ass is burning when I get home, and my feet ache. My nose is stuffed from the chilly air outside and im hungry. Maybe I shouldve waited for the pizza instead of throwing a bitch fit.

I shake my head because what's done is done and theres nothing to do about it.

My nipples hurt from the chilly air and I think I cut my hand. I turn on the bathroom light and sigh, I definitely did.

It doesnt look bad but its bleeding a lot. When did that even happen? I dont think I was bleeding when I got out of his car.

I shake my head, i dont care. All i know is it hurts and i dont want it to.

I shed my pants and underwear, turning the water on and getting in. It's not as hot this time, I was really itchy last time.

Scrubbing my hair with one hand is hard, but I dont want my other to burn, so I deal with it. I skip out on body wash, the warm waters pulling me to sleep and I might actually give in if I stay that long.

So I get out, grabbing a towel to dry off with and sulking to my room.

Maybe I should just do it for the sex? I mean the only downside is how rough he is, and the lack of aftercare. But I can give myself aftercare, and I really do love fucking him. Plus the only reason I'm upset right now is because I'm trying to convince myself I can land a relationship with him.

Yeah, that sounds good, a sex partner. And then I dont have to worry about my sexual frustration while I'm trying to find a boyfriend. And Jin doesn't really seem like boyfriend material, so I cant expect the most from him.

I smile, feeling like a child who's done something wrong. I like the idea of a sex partner, I think I'll go with that.

I fall asleep, thinking of who's house were gonna go to next time.