A story about insecurity and how it ruins everything.
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Zubiya Khalil a young doctor struggling to find her way in a chaotic world while battling her demons, stumbles upon The Neelum AJK hospital and its residents falling perfectl...
The instinct to flee is normal. But there's no point in evasion, in trying to avoid pain when you know that wherever you go sorrow will always follow you. I grope for the mantra that I've formulated in the past few years and cling to it. The way out of fear leads through fear, I repeat to myself trying to prepare for this new day will bring to me.
If the dawn could have had a sound, it would have been a vibrant symphony which built to a powerful, earth shattering crescendo as it commanded the world to wake anew, I think as I open my curtains and admire the sun as it rises from the east. And as I'm looking at this wonderful view I am reminded of a verse from Whitman's 'Song of Myself'.
To behold the day-break
The little light fades the immense and diaphanous shadows
The air tastes good to my palate.
I can't begin to imagine how the day ahead will turn out. Much as I'm anticipating it, a part of me is dreading and for once I don't listen to that part of myself. Instead I focus on the good, today is the day that I leave the past behind and start a new chapter. A new chapter of my life started the moment I set foot in this place and it was up to me what I wrote in it.
The air is free, for once I am not being suffocated by the standards of society instead I am looking forward to meeting new people and being content for once. The hope of betterment, hope to move forward lives and burns within me.
I rub my eyes trying to shake the sleep out of them. I prepared everything last night so it doesn't take me long to get ready. I would be lying if I said that dressing up didn't excite me but I just didn't have the energy in past years, to place it into something as superficial as fashion. Little to no make and just a plain, simple, old school braid was my bread and butter, whoever today for the first time in a long time, I want to put some effort in my appearance. I believe in the simpler things in life so I done on a long grey kurta with white trousers and tie up hair into a french braid so that they stay out of my face during the day and I add a white dupatta to finish the look.
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The driver who I met yesterday is waiting for me in the parking area. We exchange greetings and I situate myself in the van as he begins to drive. Normally I would have struck up a conversation but today the nerves won't let me speak and but my lack of speaking doesn't faze Rustom, which I so far have learnt is the driver's name, as he cheerfully tells me facts about the hospital while I just nod trying to match his enthusiasm. He stops right in front of the Neelum Valley Hospital and we bid our goodbyes as I climb down the vehicle.
As I walk in, a few heads turn to look at me and smile in a welcoming manner, obviously knowing who I am while I just nod back at them in obliviousness.
