bloody purple roses (asanoya)

prologe

Noyas pov
For a while now, (about 5 or 6 months) whenever im near asahi, or even see him, i feel weird. i feel as though my face is on fire, and as though something is moving in my stomach. as if something is fluttering around in there. my knees feel weak and as if im going to collapse. my heart races when i stand near him. what is this feeling? its been bugging me for so long, and im so confused. why do i feel like this? who can i ask? maybe mom would know? and by mom, i mean suga, since he's the team mom. i went up to him when i saw him alone.

"hey noya, whats up?" suga asks me with a smile.

"hey suga, can we talk in private... after volleyball in the clubroom?" i asked in a kind of shy tone.

"hm? sure! but can i ask why? or do you want to just talk about it there?"

"can we talk about it in the club room?"

"okay! ill meet you there." 

"thanks." i said and walked away and i went back to practicing my receives with tanaka. he was a little confused.

"hey, bro, what was that about?" he asked me seeming both confused and concerned.

"oh, ive been having a weird feeling lately, and i wanna talk to suga about it."

"Okay! but can i ask how you feel?"

"well, i dont want to tell you the details, but ive have been feeling it around asahi. only asahi too."

"tell me anyways? or do you want to talk to suga about it first? its cool either way."

"um... i want to talk to suga about it first."

"alright man! its cool." he said as we continued our practice, waiting for practice to end.

after volleyball after everyone changed, suga and i stayed behind, suga telling asahi and daichi, that i needed to talk to him in private, and so he was gonna stay behind. he went out with daichi for a minute, and came back in. i wasn't sure what went on until i noticed his lips were a little pink. i inwardly smirked, now knowing what happened, but didnt say anything. "so whats going on?"

"well, ive been feeling weird around asahi."

"weird? how so?"

"well, my legs feel weak, and my face feels on fire. my stomach feels like its fluttering, and i feel almost like im gonna pass out. my heart races whenever i next to him! i dont know whats going on!" i looked up at suga and he had a surprised look on his face. 

"you really dont know whats going on?"

"yeah, i have no clue?" suga put his face in his hands and looked back up at me. i nodded. "your in love with asahi." i paled. im in love... with asahi? i thought i was straight, but why am i okay with this? 

"thanks suga. i feel like an idiot now though. i dont know how i didnt realize it." i said laughing a little. 

"no problem noya. anyways, i should probably get home, and you should too. its getting late! be sure to get enough rest tonight!"

"okay mom." i said jokingly. he laughed and left. after a few minutes, i started thinking.

'would he even like me back? im nothing special... besides, hes probably straight. for all i know he might have a girlfriend anyways. i had come to the conclusion that i am bisexual, after finding out that i like asahi with sugas help, but i dont know his sexuality. even if he is gay or bi, he wont like me. 

my lungs started hurting, and i started coughing. a lot. after a few minutes, it died down. i thought it was weird, but thought nothing major of it. 

i would soon, end up regretting the choice, to ignore it and continue on with my life, as if nothing happened. 

i walked home and it was about 10:30. my mom was confused on why i was home late, but i said i stayed a bit late for practice. she understood, and said that dinners in the fridge. i ate and took a shower. i got dressed, and laid in my bed trying to sleep, but asahi kept coming to my mind, along with all of the thought that he would never love me back. i sat up coughing my head off. i dont know why i was coughing, but it lasted for a while. my mom brought me water, and rubbed my back. after a few minutes it stopped. 

"nishi? are you okay?"

"yeah, i think so. i dont know what that was about..."

"hm... well be sure to drink some water. dont want to be dehydrated." 

"okay mom." she kissed me on the forehead before walking to my doorway and turning off the lights.

"night nishi!"

"goodnight mom." and i turned over and tried to sleep. but i didnt get that much sleep that night. it was just really hard to sleep that night.