The Soulmates - Jamilton Soulmate AU [COMPLETE]

Chapter Four - The Suicidal Orphan

Jefferson's heartbeat sped up. His hands became clammy. His face became hot. Hamilton's face was inches away from his. Before he could lean in to kiss him, Hamilton pulled away and laughed. 

"What the fuck?" Jefferson yelled. 

"That was the test! If that turned you on, you're probably gay or bi," Hamilton said.

"I honestly think that would turn anyone on," Jefferson said. Hamilton laughed again. "You fucking tease."

"'Tease'? You mean you liked that?" Jefferson looked at him, his face growing redder. "Well?"

"M-Maybe..." Jefferson muttered. Hamilton blushed and turned away. Seeing Jefferson becoming shy and vulnerable didn't seem like how he was at school. 

"So, should we finish practicing or do you wanna go home?"

"I don't really wanna go home.."

"Oh, wow," Hamilton guffawed. "Did that turn your horny ass on that much?"

"No, it's not that," Jefferson sighed. "It's shit with my parents, you wouldn't understand." 

"Why do you think I live alone?" Hamilton asked. "I'm not independent, I never was. I've taught myself to be, but it's not really me. I've become what people think is independent because I'm an orphan. When I turned eighteen in January, I inherited no money because I've been poor all my life. God, I don't even know why I'm telling you this." 

"I'm sorry," Jefferson said as Hamilton sat next to him on the couch, their bodies being squished together due to how small it was.

"Don't be, it's been six years."

"That's pretty recent-"

"Please, Jefferson. What I'm saying is I'll probably understand more than anybody if you wanna talk about it."

"They've just been fighting a lot," Jefferson admitted. "And they've been sleeping in different beds; my dad has been sleeping with me in mine. I hate it so much that I haven't been home in three days, I've been staying at my friend's house. I don't even think they understand and that they just want to help me so they can stay popular."

"Wow," Hamilton said. "I never even thought about how hard it must be for you in the spotlight."

"And-- and being gay or bi? Everyone would hate me and never look at me the same." Hamilton set his hand on Jefferson's shoulder, his sleeve falling down without him noticing. "Hamilton, did you hurt yourself?" Jefferson asked, staring at the visible part of Hamilton's forearm. 

Hamilton immediately pulled his arm away and pulled his sleeves down. "Y-You need to leave," he said, keeping his eye contact away from Jefferson. 

"Hamilton--"

"Please, Jefferson... please leave."

"Hamilton, are you okay? You know I can hel--"

"Now!"

Jefferson gasped and collected his things as he was shoved out the door by Hamilton.

Jefferson walked back to his car and drove home, completely confused and worried. Hamilton had it so hard, and Jefferson thought his life was tough. 

It wasn't until he arrived back at his friend's house when he realized that Hamilton was The Suicidal Orphan. 

_______________

Three days later, it was Monday. Jefferson couldn't get in contact with Hamilton all week, and he didn't just want to show up at his house. So, he waited the entire weekend until after school at rehearsal on Monday.

"Hey, Hamilton!" he walked backstage to look for him and found him sitting in the same dark corner as on Friday. He plopped down next to him. "Are you okay?" Hamilton didn't respond. "Can we talk?" 

"No," Hamilton muttered.

"Come on, Hamilton, we're soulmates."

"I thought we were denying that fact," Hamilton said. "You seemed to agree with that when you yelled at me to never speak to you again.

"Hamilton, please talk to me," Jefferson pleaded. 

"Fine, but only because we're soulmates. I have depression and anxiety. A few months ago I was at my lowest and cut myself. I was just having a hard time and I don't wanna talk about it anymore."

Jefferson nodded. "Okay." They sat there for a second. 

"Um... Jefferson?" 

"What's up?"

"Can you hold my hand?"

Jefferson gasped and blushed. "O-Of course." He hesitantly set his hand on Hamilton's and their fingers entwined. A deep red covered both of their faces and they didn't even have the courage to look in each other's eyes. 

"Hey, guys!" Angelica said, walking backstage. Jefferson tried to pull his hand away, but Hamilton just gripped it tighter and hid their hands behind their backs. "Rehearsal is starting in a few minutes, so review the song if you want and we'll alert you when it's starting."

"Okay, thanks, Angie," Hamilton said. Angelica smiled and nodded as she went back outside. Hamilton turned back to Jefferson before turning away again. "Do not talk about this. Ever."

"Why?" Jefferson chuckled. "You're cute when you're vulnerable." Hamilton punched his arm in a friendly manner, drawing loud laughter from Jefferson before Hamilton forced him to quiet down. 

"Rehearsal is starting!" someone called out. Hamilton and Jefferson walked outside, not realizing they were still holding hands. Eliza almost melted when she saw them.

"You guys are so cute!" she screamed. Hamilton frantically looked around before noticing and pulling his hand away. Jefferson laughed again before sitting in the circle with everyone else.

"Okay, I hope you all practiced Road To Hell," the director said. Everyone agreed. "Great! This rehearsal is open-script, so we will rehearse Road To Hell with our scripts today! Get to work!" The director and Angelica sat in their seats as everyone sat on the stage and began singing.

The music played through the speakers as Jefferson began the song. 

Hamilton watched Jefferson in awe and almost missed his cue.

After rehearsal, Hamilton ran up to Jefferson's car and knocked on the window. Jefferson opened it since he was already in the driver's seat. 

"Hi, Jefferson, uh, I don't exactly know how to say this so I'll just be straightforward," Hamilton said. "If you're not happy at your"--he held up finger quotes--"'friend's' house, you c-can always come to mine." 

Jefferson held back a smile. "Sure! I'll let you know if I ever come over."

"Great! You're always welcome!" Hamilton walked away, waving and smiling before he hopped in his car and drove home.