The Soulmates - Jamilton Soulmate AU [COMPLETE]

Chapter Fourteen - It's All Going To Shit

so uh major trigger warning for this chapter-

enjoy!

It had been a two weeks since Anna came back and was informed of Philip's death. She hadn't left the house. Her friends had been helping her on FaceTime with what they learned in class and with homework. 

Hamilton and Jefferson went back to school. They started up the musical again, this time with Angelica as the director. They never spoke about Hamilton's fresh cuts.

Everyone got their vaccines.

Hamilton seemed to be drifting away from even his best friends. He was still with the Schuyler SIsters because of the play and Peggy would never leave his side, but the rest seemed to stop talking to him. Not abruptly, but slowly.

Jefferson and Anna seemed happy. But, Jefferson was getting worried about Hamilton. It seemed that as the Jefferson's got happier, he got sadder. 

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"It's almost summer, everyone!" Hamilton's math teacher smiled. "That means no exams for three months!" The class cheered. "But it also means you have to start packing for college. And take your final exams." The class groaned. "Now, raise your hand if you're going to college."

More than half of the class raised their hands, and Hamilton was one of the few who didn't. The teacher grinned. "Where is everyone going?"

The students said things like Cornell University, Ohio University, Harvard, Yale, and so many others. Hamilton just kept his head down. 

"Mr. Hamilton!" the teacher called. Hamilton's head snapped up. "I assume you are going to a college? You are one of the brightest kids in this class." Hamilton shook his head as the teacher slightly stepped backwards, clearly surprised. 

"I didn't have the time to apply and I just don't wanna go," Hamilton muttered. The teacher nodded.

"Well, that's class. I'll see you guys on monday," the teacher said.

Hamilton picked up his books and held them close to his chest. He left the classroom and walked to the auditorium for rehearsal. 

Everyone else was already there, and he walked in with the usual frown on his face. The cast smiled at him, attempting to make him happier. 

"Hi guys," Hamilton said, slightly smiling. He put his bag down on a chair and walked over to the stage. He hopped on and looked at everyone. "What's up?"

"I'm sorry, Alex," Angelica said. "We're gonna have to drop you as Orpheus. This is for your own good, you need time to reflect and try to make yourself happier. You've been really down lately."

"So, you're kicking me off because I have depression?" Hamilton yelled. "Because, I can act happy for this musical! Isn't that the whole point? WE'RE FUCKING ACTING!"

"I'm sorry. We already have a new on-"

"No. Stop. This is one of the only things I have left! You can't just throw away all the work I've put into this! And, don't you dare say you're sorry, sorry doesn't fucking cut it."

Alex ran back to the doors and grabbed his things along the way. He kept wiping his face to get rid of the tears, but none were there. It was like a reflex. 

He wasn't sad. He was angry.

Really angry. 

He regained consiousness when he felt the cold blade on his wrist. No fresh cuts were there, and he had no idea why he was hesitating. He didn't hesitate last time, so why was he now? 

He set the knife back on the counter and just sobbed. He let the tears fall to the floor. He sat at the counter and looked down, a puddle of his tears forming. He didn't know what to do. 

The next thing he knew, Jefferson was bursting through the door and frantically running around the apartment to look for him. He found Hamilton crying at the counter almost immediately, and rushed over to him, rubbing circles on his back.

"Alex! Are you okay?" he yelled. He looked past Hamilton and saw the knife on the counter, but no blood on it. He sighed with relief and hugged him.

"What time is it?" Hamilton mumbled, his thoughts still racing and his focus going all over the place.

"It's almost 4:00, why?"

Hamilton broke from Jefferson's grasp. His breathing got faster and faster and faster. Jefferson looked at him, clearly worried. "You didn't come for me?" Hamilton asked.

"What?"

"You didn't chase after me when they replaced me as Orpheus?" Hamilton repeated. Jefferson almost looked scared. Hamilton stared at him, looking for an answer.

"Yeah, I had to finish rehearsal," Jefferson finally said, stepping closer to Hamilton to try to comfort him, but Hamilton took a step back.

"You 'had to finish rehearsal'? You couldn't chase after your upset and depressed AF boyfriend who love you with all his heart? You just had to finish rehearsal for a musical I just got kicked out of? You couldn't even deduce the fact that I might've snapped and just fucking killed myself?"

"Alex--"

"Don't you dare 'Alex' me," Hamilton said, stomping to his bedroom. Jefferson chased after him. "I'm going back to the Nevis. My dad came back. I'm gonna hate it, but anywhere's better than here right now."

"Alexander, you cannot go back to the Nevis! You hate it there!"

"It's my choice, Thomas!" Hamilton yelled, pushing him. "I now know I have nothing left, so maybe if I go back to the Nevis I'll actually have a family again."

Jefferson let Hamilton pack his things and just left. He had no argument. He was gonna let Hamilton go.

He stepped outside and to the parking lot to get some fresh air. He took the engagement ring out of his pocket and stared at it with a smile. He contemplated whether or not to throw it away, but he kept it in his pocket and walked back inside, feeling content.

Hamilton was at Mrs. Hutchins, asking if she could get him plane tickets to the Nevis. She agreed and got him plane tickets within two seconds. 

He would be at the Nevis by early morning on Sunday.

Jefferson came in and Hamilton left immediately. "Hey, Mrs. Hutchins," he smiled. "Can I get a plane ticket to the Nevis, too? And on a different flight please, this is a surprise."

Mrs. Hutchins nodded and got him the plane tickets. Step one of the plan was in motion.