What can I do? | Merluca

Part 3 (new)

I was asked if I could continue this story, and maybe write something similar to the drowning...

Since the original 2nd Part (now Part 4) takes place when Mer feels better again, I decided to write a bit more about what happens and how she feels in between those chapters... Part 2 and 3 contain mature content like suicidal thoughts... If you don't want to read those, you can also jump to Part 4, the part fits both storylines, and takes place a few weeks later, when Meredith feels better...

------ MATURE CONTENT WARNING FOR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS ------

Day 3

In the morning

Andrew was slowly waking up, rolling over to face Meredith's side. He realized that it was empty. He quickly opened his eyes, feeling the fear come up inside him, remembering what had happened the day before.

But as quickly as the fear had come up , he felt the relief wash over him when he saw her sitting on her bedside. With her back to him, looking at something; she seemed tense, immediately turning her head around, looking at him over her shoulder, when she noticed his movements.

"Hey, you are already up." Andrew said softly.

"Yeah. I couldn't sleep anymore." She answered, before she turned her head forward again.

Andrew was carefully getting in a sitting position, moving himself closer to her, until he was leaning against the headboard on her side; having her to his right, sitting on the bed.

Her hair was loosely hanging down, covering her face. He slowly leaned over to put some strands back behind her ear, so he could see her better from the side.

"What are you looking at?" He noticed that she was holding a picture in her hands.

"My kids." Meredith gave him the picture, looking at it one more time with a sad smile on her lips.

It showed Ellis, Bailey and Zola on the couch, all dressed up as their favorite movie characters, laughing. He remembered the day it was taken. It was a few months ago on a warm summer day, where Meredith and him both had the day off and spent it with her kids; first going to the park, then cooling down with some ice cream, and a movie night in the evening.

"We had fun that day." He heard Meredith next to him, her face slightly lightning up at the memory.

"Yeah, we did." Andrew confirmed, with a small smile himself.

He was observing her for some moments and saw how her smile slowly faded and a few tears replaced the shining that had been in her eyes just a moment ago, when she was talking about her kids.

"You need help, Mer." Andrew said as softly as he could, knowing that no matter how much he wished him being there for her was enough, she needed more help.

"I know." She took a deep breath, before facing him again "I already made an appointment with my therapist. Amelia and I talked earlier."

"Okay." He whispered to reassure her.

...

In the afternoon

Meredith had just come back from therapy; her kids were already around her, hugging her. Andrew was standing a few feet away, observing them, letting her kids greet her first.

Once they disentangled themselves from their group hug again, little Ellis still giggling because she was in the middle of them and Meredith smiling at having this moment with all her kids, Zola was the one who spoke first.