Destiny calls

8

"Let's go.", He said as he turned around back to his warm smile.

But I couldn't speak, still couldn't move. The scary aura had vanished yet my body refused to move. Why couldn't I move. This damned weak mind getting scared of every little happenings even when he was just helping me there. Move already, MOVE.

"Come on, let's go." He said again. No, I still couldn't move. His smile waned and his brows started to furrow.

"Hey, let's go now. Please, move. Say something." He said as I saw fear fill his face. Unable to do anything I kept on staring at him silently, blankly.

"Please...please, not this again. Why does this always happen? Why?"  He was in a frenzy. His voice had gone into a whisper and finally he looked at me and said, "Sorry."

Suddenly the air changed again and those eyes that were so filled with fear for a moment were now filled with contempt. Those eyes were scary, filled with rage. Did he look at those guys with these same eyes that were so scary. No wonder they were scared.

"You guys are just so weak that can't even do anything but stare. All your muscles refusing to move when scared, frozen. Now move." My eyes twitched and I could move my fingers but not all my body parts yet.

"I Said Move." His eyes glaring at me as he moved closer. Must have been bodily  instinct that I finally stepped backwards. Whenever we sense something dangerous we instinctively move backwards as we face the predator otherwise we could get eaten. Yes it was the same fear I had but I had finally managed to move. I don't know whether I was scared or happy then but my heart was beating very fast. Well right after that of course fear overtook me and just as I was about to run, that danger dissipated and when I looked at him he was about to cry.

"I am so sorry..." was all he could say at that point. It must have been a bad memory. I really was so useless.

"Ahh, please don't say that. I do need to thank you for helping me back there from those guys. If... if you hadn't been there I don't know what I would have done. I don't have a strong voice to shout and I just freeze when I am scared. I am not a good athlete either so I couldn't have outran them nor physically overpowered them. Plus even Lynette said that I looked like a pufferfish when I tried to be scary. So, if you hadn't been here judging by their body posture they were waiting for someone. It could have been me or anyone else. You did actually prevent something bad from happening."

No actually wait, they could have been waiting for their friends as well. No, no, no most of the guys I knew would have left by that time. Plus after Lynette was gone I did notice them constantly eyeing me. What was I even thinking here? Wait he did mention that they went clubbing a lot though that's their choice but also forced themselves onto other women. But how did he know that? I guess I would ask him some other day. That guy seemed like he had been through a lot.

"Let's go home for now. Are you alright?"  Does he look alright to me? Of course not.

"I am sorry for troubling you today and thank you...Please don't be so glum."

"It's fine. You can go home now. Sorry once again."

"No, no, no. How can I leave you alone now that you nearly broke down like a china doll right in front of me?" What am I even saying? "Besides it would break my heart if I left you alone now." Am I in some sort of drama or something? Why am I spouting such nonsense anyway!

He looked at me and tilted his head. So many thoughts must have been running through his mind then. His face was restrained like he was forcing himself not to say anything. He might have been thinking that he was burdening others with his feelings or even if he told it would not solve anything. 

I said, "It must be difficult." He looked at me questioningly.

"You see, I also used to be afraid of saying what I felt. I felt as if nobody would understand me. That nobody would care anyway. The only thing that I could do was to move forward by forgetting it. But it was not easy to forget, no, it was far from easy. Because the more I tried to forget, the more I remembered and the more I remembered, the more I felt that feeling over and over again. I could always push it at the back of my mind. Yes, that helped but if that memory was brought up, those memories came back to me fresh. But you know what, as I grew up I started not to care and just move on. Lynette helped me open up and share myself. Yes the hurt won't just fade away but it will make it easier to handle." I said remembering my past.

"...hmm...ok"

"Let's go." 

I started going ahead but realizing he hadn't come along I went back towards him.

"Come on..." I had started to tug his shirt sleeves when I looked at him and saw tears well up in his eyes. The tear filling up his eyes and collected upon the lower eyelid suddenly dropped from the support of lower eyelashes tracing its path on his face through the cheek to the chin and dropped to the ground. One drop followed the other continued with stuffy nose. And along with him I cried.

One thing about me was that I cried all the time; when angry and shouting; when sad; when seeing others cry; watching sad parts in a movie or reading sad parts. I just cry.