Lukehemmings - anxiety

Where did it all begin?

*front door opens*
"LUKE" Luke's mum calls from the kitchen "did you eat all your lunch today?"
It seems like a casual conversation , but for Luke it's different.His head spins, trying to think of an excuse until he decides to lie.
"Yes, mum I did"Luke replies shakily
"Show me your lunch box!" Liz (Luke's mum) demands.
Luke unpacks his lunch box and to Liz's shock it's empty, usually she would find a sandwich left in there.But she doesn't believe him.
"What did you give away?"she questions Luke and he can't lie anymore, Luke hates lying to his mum because he knows she's just trying to help him.
Luke has anxiety but doesn't want help, he would rather be alone and try to get through it , but his mum keeps wanting him to go to a doctor, but he refuses. He is scared of the doctors he doesn't want to cause problems for his mum. he hated people knowing he had something wrong with him, he felt messed up and that people would talk about him behind his back.
He tells her everything and she is annoyed, he hates it when this happens...
His mum tells him everyday that he has to eat, but he can't he physically can't. He doesn't like eating at school, there isn't a reason he just doesn't like it. School was torture for Luke he hates it for so many reasons ... He doesn't have many friends, he hangs around with Calum who has been his friend since they were at pre-school. But Calum has a new friend called ashton , he moved to their school in year 9. They get on so well like they were made for eachother.
*Luke speaking*
I'm a mess , I don't even know what's wrong with me anymore.i have no friends and my mum and dad hate me.i mean like I have friends but I feel so alone, like everyone hates me. The thing is no one tells me they don't like me, I don't get bullied and no one hits me. It's just I over think and I hate it , I need to see a doctor but I don't want to.Calum has ashton now and I just tag along, they say they like me but I don't believe them. I hate school , it's hell.
I have to pretend to enjoy it and that I am happy when deep down I'm a mess and all I want to do is curl up and die.ever since that day I haven't been the same and I won't ever be the same .... Ever.
It was a year ago now , 1 year and 22 days ago to be exact but I don't want to remember it , the memories I have stuck in my head won't go away and i wish they would.
I am only 14 and I already have post-traumatic stress disorder, I don't know how much longer I can go on.
It was the weekend after christmas , I was at my friends house his names Riley he's my best-friend and he has been since I was 6 , he's a year younger than me and goes to a different school so I only get to see him on the weekends, which sucks a lot.Riley's mum had gone out and I had slept over his house the night before. It was me Riley and his little sister Eden, we was home alone ... It doesn't seem like much for a 14 year old boy but that's before they heard someone banging on the door. No one was due home and the dog was going crazy , like it was someone who wasn't supposed to be in the house. We all ran into the bathroom and locked the door...
Sorry it's short it's my first ever chapter