The next morning, even though I'd gone to sleep late, I felt happier and more excited to go to school, well to see Kaito. Up until yesterday, I never really thought of Kaito as any more than a friend, but after everything that happened, perhaps I really was catching feelings. Before leaving, I packed my own lunch this time along with a snack, by the time I was out the door, Kaito was already at my front door, about to knock. "oh, good morning!"
I close the door behind me and lock it, "morning"
We start to walk to school, the walk to school wasn't as silent today, we spoke the whole way, all the way until the intersection where we had to go our own ways.
He begins climbing up the set of stairs, "alright, see ya, Eiichi"
"okay, see you."
My classroom was further down the hall than some of the other classes were, which meant I walked by most of them before reaching my own. For some reason, something felt, off. Whenever I walked by the classes, some of the students would stare and whisper to their friends while looking at me. At first, I thought it was all in my head, just like the first day, until I reached the room marked 1-4, my class. I sat down, just like the past few days, and normally, everyone would tend to their own business and I'd mind my own.
Not today, however.
Two girls come up to me, "hey, you're Itsuki, right? You were the one hanging out with Kaito?" one of the girls say.
I hesitate at first, "uh yeah I was" they look at each other and I hear the other friend whisper, "it's him." I look at them waiting to say something else, they stay quiet a bit until one of their friends calls them over. When their friend sees who they were talking to, she has a face of horror. When they were all together, the friend who'd call them over starts whispering, scolding almost, but in such a low tone.
The rest of the day flew by, I couldn't concentrate much with the intense feeling in the atmosphere. Based on what the girls had said, it really wasn't in my head. People were really talking about me, people really were looking at me, people really were seeing me in a way I never thought they would.
When lunch arrived, unlike yesterday, I was the last one out. I waited for everyone to leave before I left the classroom and into my usual lunch spot, the rooftop. I kept my head down the whole way up, but it still felt like I was being watched. I could feel the eyes on me, watching my every move. When I finally made my way to the door to the top, I slowly opened it. Kaito was standing there, he didn't have his lunch out, he didn't have that typical Kaito smile. I close the door behind me and Kaito turns around. He didn't say anything for a bit, when he finally speaks, his tone is low. "Hey, Eiichi"
"Hey." something felt off, his tone was different.
"I wanted to ask you something," he looks back down and away from me, "is it true that you had a boyfriend back in middle school?"
I felt my whole-body freeze. Nothing more than a small squeak came out, "where'd you hear that from?"
"there was this rumor going around, that your now ex-boyfriend, committed suicide." he still didn't face me. Was he disgusted? Did he think that, it was my fault too? "of course, I didn't want to believe anything without hearing it from you first."
I didn't say anything for a bit, it was like my whole body froze, I couldn't say anything. He must've gotten his answer by the fact that I wasn't able to answer it myself. At the thought of his judgement and disgust, my only instinct was to run. Just to run away.
"Wait!" He yells, before I get the chance to run. I turn around, not bothering to look directly into his eyes, "I'm not... I don't think... That it's your fault, I'm not disgusted by you! I'm sure there was a misunderstanding-"
"But... well... I... ARE YOU SURE?" I yelled out, feeling a little anxiety stricken due to the fact that he had suddenly decided to yell words of comfort at me.
"I'm sure! I'm sure you're not that way, Eiichi!" Hearing my name almost brought me to the realisation that he wasn't judging me. Even though I was still completely petrified, relief washed over me. How did word even get out? All of this had happened in middle school, the middle school I went to in Shinjuku. My bag dropped to the floor and I followed in defeat.
"It's true," I began, my voice quiet, "My boyfriend from middle school did commit suicide..."
I refused to look up, I refused to speak. My whole body was frozen in fear. I came to this school for a new beginning, not to be reminded of a past that I hated so much.
"Eiichi," his tone was changed to something more comforting, and I got the feeling that he wanted to know more - but not for the wrong reasons, "I don't know the full story... I don't know who your boyfriend was... and I don't know about your past. But, I do know you, Eiichi Itsuki. You are you now, the past doesn't matter - I'm sure you're not like that."
I finally find the courage to look into his enchanting emerald eyes; those eyes that stood out to me since we met. I felt tears forming in my dull eyes.
"Are you sure you want to... accept me like this?" I asked, fiddling with my fingers, "You don't know how... horrible I am..."
"You're not horrible, I'm sure of it. You're the opposite of those things! I swear, I can accept you." Kaito held out a hand, a hand that beckoned me to put mine in his. I gripped it softly, face in a mild flush, embarrassed from the way I acted. Kaito pulled me up, and I let the tears fall, feeling overwhelmed with emotion. He could accept me.
"Hey," Kaito started, a shy smile upon his face, "Wanna go to the carnival with me? Heard it was only going to be in town for a few more days- I really wanna go on some cool rides!""Sure..." I replied, excitement bubbling within me, "I really wanna eat some of the candy apples, especially the ones with peanuts on them! They're my favourite..."
"Great! Let's go sometime on Saturday, okay? Do you have my number? I can text you the details."
"Uh... I don't think I have your phone number." I take out a scrap of paper from my pocket from my last class, "Do you have a pen?"
He hands the pen to me,staring into my eyes and chuckling, "I could just write down my number in your contacts, you know?"
"Huh? Y-Yeah, I know that but...! It's... more... um... yeah we could've done that..."
We exchange phones as well as our numbers before leaving the rooftop as our lunch break comes to an end. I felt an immense amount of relief and exhilaration within me, happy that Kaito was not there to judge or shame me for who I was. I felt that Kaito was almost like a blessing to me- someone who was there to aid me and provide me with joyfulness in my tedious life - I felt truly happy to be with him. An unknown feeling within me - something that I was too scared to explore, but I was content for now, and I didn't want it to end like before.
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Kaito On The Second Floor
RomanceEiichi, a first year student aged fifteen from a small town in Shinjuku, just moved to an entirely new city which also includes a new school. After losing someone close and dear to him in a tragic way that he blames himself for, he struggles deeply...