P.S.

× I Wish I Knew ×

I wish I knew how to express myself clearly.
I tried to abide by my own rules, you see
How I thought I'd improve, I didn't, not nearly
And I failed to comprehend the way life should be.
Of course, I'd never, things get better
But there isn't a point to looking without seeing
I have nothing left to say, my words have run free
And every thought I once had is now beyond conceiving.
One too many times my heart has run wild
And one too many smiles have hidden my tears
No one can console this disoriented child
And no one will reclaim these undefined fears.
Dreaming is believing, but to nightmares they've turned
Seeing is deceiving, I can now understand
Lessons overdue, lessons not learned
Lessons required to take a firm stand.
As I said before, hearts are often changed
Distance grows further and the game is no longer played
To think that my apparent efforts were staged
Makes me question further why it was me who stayed.
Don't get me wrong, I couldn't be without
That feeling of solace from across the Atlantic
I'd never forget, please hear me out
I just wish my feelings weren't so dynamic. 
I did what I could and I'm unwilling to let go
But I'm sorry I stripped you of your pure content
I just couldn't grasp that potential woe
And I couldn't see past that colossal dent.
We all deserve happiness, serenity and bliss
I just wish I knew why it had to be this.