Waiting For You

Rārangi upoko 6 'Facing Reality'

Anne rested her head against Amber's shoulder as both of them sat in the shade under a pohutukawa tree.
"The country has deemed that Joshua is a hero," Amber said quietly.

Anne starred out into the distance, her thoughts scattered to the wind. The words 'a hero' seeped into her thinking and her father came to mind. He had been deemed a hero by so many for his sacrifice while fighting over in Australia during the great bush fires. He had died and people had labelled him with the lofty title of hero. She shivered and feared the thought of her husband falling under such titles if he died overseas. No, her husband was not a hero, he was her husband and that was all she wanted. For Joshua to just come home alive and in one piece, of mind and body. That he would remain hers and not be given over to the cold earth and be remembered by a name on a stone somewhere. He would be forgotten and only his name be remembered like that of her fathers, and a word associated in honor to the both of them...

Amber placed an arm around Anne comfortingly. "You don't need to worry about Joshua or Juan." She said gently. "Your husband will eventually find his friend and then they will both come back to Aotearoa."

A young couple pushed a pram with a toddler up the path that passed by twenty feet or so below where the both of them sat on the ridge of the volcano. The sky was considerately clear and not a cloud could be accounted for.
Anne felt at a loss, not knowing what she should do next. She didn't want to continue to read out the letters for the fear of more bad news. She just wanted peace to settle back down on the world. For life to return back to what it once was. Where she did not have to constantly fear for the lives of those she loved.
"Anne, are you even listening?" Amber asked.
Anne lifted her head from Amber's shoulder and looked at her. "Sorry, no. What were you saying?"
"I was saying that maybe we should get a takeaway before dropping you off at home. An early night might do you some good." Amber said as she stood up and brushed herself off. She lent a hand to Anne who got up and the both of them walked back to the car park, passing that of the couple who were pushing their child in a pramulator.

"Fish and chips sound good?"
Anne shrugged, she wasn't hungry so food did not interest her. They both got into the car and hit the motorway heading south. Traffic wasn't too bad for 3:30 on a Thursday afternoon. It wasn't long before they arrived at Anne's home in Mount Wellington. Lady was excited to see both of them on arrival. Gandelf seemed to keep his distance from Amber and watched her with contempt in his eyes.
Amber made sure that her friend was laying down on the couch before popping back out to order fish n chips.
Anne lay quietly, her thoughts wandered. Eventually, her eyes settled on the pile of letters that sat on the coffee table in front of her and her curiosity spiked. What did people think about Joshua and herself? Did they really find both of them an inspiration in these trying times?
She pulled herself up into a position and slowly lifted the bundle of letters onto her lap and untied the brown hemp cord.
Lady laid at her feet whimpering, sensing something in the air.
"It's ok Lady," Anne whispered. She took the top letter which was addressed to the TVNZ headquarters in gold ink on the face of the peach colored envelope. She struggled to open it without damaging the envelope without a knife or a letter opener.
The paper onwhich the words were written was cream-coloured and of rather good quality. The handwriting was well established in flowing cursive.
She began to read it.

To Anne Hickey,
I hope this letter will find you well and that it will give you the needed strength and encouragement to go forward with what you are doing for this nation.
What you do before the camera's for this nation is truly an inspiration. You bring hope to the members of the public here in New Zealand that had forgotten what hope was. I may be of old times, but I remember what those times were like during the second world war here in New Zealand. We never had the privilege or the encouragement to listen to letters that came back from war-torn areas. After the war, our generation came to look at death, loss, and hardships as taboo matters not to be shared or discussed. You and your husband have changed that. You both have brought it to the public's attention that as humans we are made to share our struggles and to lean on each other in times of need. My generation did not see that, which made it hard on so many people returning from the war. You have opened an old wound that never healed properly so that it may have a chance now to heal without a scare. There are not many of my generation left that remember, but what you are doing is a true inspiration, there is no doubt in that. When my older brother returned, my parents had told me never to bring up the war or asked him what had happened whilst he had been over in Japan. I knew from watching him that he was suffering on the inside, trapped and nowhere to go or to get help in processing what had happened. He later in life told me everything, but I had been taught never to discuss the matter, so I listened and did not try to comfort him and he didn't talk about it again. I regret it now. I now know that talking about hardship and loss is what heals the wounds, but ignoring the matter allows the wounds to fester and become septic. After many years the silence eventually devoured my brother and he passed away in a mental hospital. I feel that I could have prevented the way he went. If only had I allowed him to feel safe to discuss what he saw and did over yonder. You in your way are a hero. What you do is a task for only the bravest of woman. I thank you for helping an old lady to see the light for future generations before she leaves them. I encourage you onwards and remember that no matter how hard life gets and how terrible the letters you may receive in the future are, that New Zealand stands with you, that we are here for you and your husband. Don't forget this Anne. The past does not need to repeat itself.
Yours truly,
Agnes Vjusich.

Anne slowly set the letter down on her lap. The words replaying in her mind. Agnes was right in her letter. Humanity needs to lean on each other to remain strong. Matters need to be discussed and shared. Anne had never thought what she did in front of the cameras would actually help people. Indeed, all it seemed to do was make them pity her, but she was wrong.
The doorbell rang, throwing Anne back into her reality. She got up and went to check who it was. On opening the door she found Rosemary awaiting to be let in.
"Mom," Anne said softly.
"Anne," Rosemary replied solemnly. "I thought that I should check on how you were doing. I did go to the studio, but they said that you and Amber had left already."
Anne showed her mother in and closed the door before both of them made their way into the lounge and sat down on the couch. Rosemary studied the envelopes on the table and the open letter laying face up. "I am probably not the best person to help you." She said looking from the letter to her daughter.
Anne shrugged, she didn't want to talk about their troubled past.
The sound of the front door opening and then closing before Amber walked into the lounge with a paper parcel which she set down on the coffee table.
"Amber, its good to see you." Anne's mother said with a smile. "I am thankful that my daughter has such a good friend to comfort her."
Amber nodded. "How's it going, Mrs Radford?"
Rosemary let a laugh escape. "Please, call me Rosemary. No one has called me Mrs Radford in years."
Amber's eyes settled on the letters that lay on the coffee table.
"You have been reading some of those?" She asked Anne.
Anne nodded. "Just finished reading one from an Agnes Vjusich."
"Oh, I know an Agnes Vjusich." Rosemary spoke up. "From Rotorua, could be the same person." Anne handed her the empty envelope so that she may inspect the return address.
Amber unfolded the paper to reveal chips and battered fish. "What did she say?"
"You can read it for yourself if you want."
Amber took the letter up and sat down next to Rosemary and began to read it to herself.
"Yes, it is her," Rosemary said as she put the envelope gently down beside the takeaway.
The smell of the food filled the room, pulling the cat out from hiding and he sat on the carpet by Anne's feet, watching for the hope of being fed.
Anne put the letter down and picked up a chip, ate half of it before giving the rest to Gandelf who consumed it despite it being of a potato origin.
Lady watched on and wagged her tail in hopes to be next.
"You want some food, mom?"
"Very kind, but I need to be at Bingo in thirty minutes." She replied.
"You play bingo?" Anne asked, she hadn't known her mother to be the type for bingo.
"Yes, every Friday at 6 pm I play bingo. We should go together sometime." Rosemary got up.

"What did you think of the letter?" Anne asked Amber.
"Hmm," Amber said, "it's good. Sad that her brother had to go the way he did. She's right though, about sharing and discussing the hardships in life."
"She never really discussed her brother in the time I knew her," Rosemary said. "Does the letter say much on James?"
Anne took the letter and handed it to her mother.
"Anne, people around NZ need you and what you are doing is good." Amber said slowly, "I know it is not easy on your mental health. We are here to help. Imagine if you had to struggle alone like Agnes's brother. How will Joshua cope when he comes back if nothing was talked about or discussed when he needs to lean on others." She took a piece of oily battered fish and broke it in half and passed one portion to Anne. "I just think... that life is too hard when we close ourselves off from talking about the hardships at hand."
Anne slowly consumed the fish and broke a piece off for Lady. Gandelf watched jealously.
"Oh," Rosemary mumbled, "I did not know that of Agnes. That must have been hard for her to realize such a matter."
"So you know this lady?" Amber asked.
"Yes, but we have not talked in a while," Rosemary replied. "She had been a great friend to Greg's mother. I think she was his godmother. Here," she held out the letter back to Anne who took it.
Anne looked at the letter with a bit more respect. The woman who wrote it had been her dad's godmother.
"I should doddle or I will be late for bingo." Rosemary started to make her way to the door. "It was good seeing you, Amber. Anne, we should do something sometime, maybe a picnic or of the like." The sound of the front door closing and she was gone.
"How are you feeling?" Amber asked.
"Better," Anne said softly, and she did feel better. She was thankful for her mother and Amber, as well as Agnes's letter.