"Namjoon hyung, you shouldn't do this to yourself." Jimin spoke as he stood near the couch.
After Seokjin saw my devastating state, he immediately took me downstairs and let me rest on the couch as he called the others for company.
"Seriously Namjoon, this is why we told you to stay in the dorm in the first place." Yoongi added who sat down the couch beside me.
"You'll make us worry even more." Seokjin spoke, who was bandaging wounded hands.
Their words made my mouth shut. I just wanted to cry, I just wanted to drown myself in my own tears.
All I can think of right now is how bad I wanted to hug the both of them, how much I wanted to see their faces.
"This house is bringing back all the memories hyung, you should just go back with us." Taehyung crossed his arms as his gaze describe worry.
That's the reason why I wanted to stay in this house in the first place, to bring back all the memories. All the memories when we were still happy, when we were still laughing, when we were still together.
I thought that those memories could replace the pain but it made it even worse.
"Hyung, everything will be okay."
I scoffed before letting a tear fall down my cheek.
"Okay? Is this okay, do I look okay to you?" I looked at every single one of them before letting out a sad smile.
"Ever since they left nothing has been okay." I swallowed down the lump on my throat as I looked at my bandaged hands.
"All I want is to hear my boy say 'daddy' again and to hear my wife say 'I love you' one more time, but I can't." And with that I cried. I cried in front of my friends but I didn't care if they saw my vulnerable state, all I cared about is how bad it hurt.
"I can't..." I sobbed.
"Every morning when I wake up, I go downstairs hoping to see her cooking breakfast but all I can see is an empty sink and a messy kitchen." I exhaled before closing my eyes.
"Every afternoon I wait for the door to open up hoping to a receive a hug from them both, but the door didn't open." I slowly opened my eyes and once again saw my bandaged hands.
"And every night... I pray that all that happened was just a dream and when I would wake up they're both in my arms again."
Oh, how much my heart ached. I could feel it tear apart every word I say.
"But they're not."
All the boys were crying after hearing my words. They knew how much the both of them meant to me and they knew how hurt I was when they left.
"Remember what Y/N said Namjoon." Seokjin held my hand making me look at him.
"She wanted you to take care of yourself. She didn't want you to end up like shit." He added as I hiccupped, feeling the tears that were about to fall off again.
"She wanted you to know how much she loved you, how much they both did. You know that it wasn't their choice to leave." My tears fell down at every word that he said.
"They wanted to stay so bad Namjoon, so bad but they couldn't. Their breath couldn't hold on." I slowly fell into Jin's embrace as I started to cry harder.
"But remember that we're here for you. They are both here for you, not physically, but you know they're here." I sobbed more and more realizing my mistake.
Since when will I be like this if I won't let go of the past? Why would I keep trashing myself when I know they're right beside me?
"It's okay hyung." The boys slowly came to us and joined the hug.
I was such an idiot for not realizing it up till now. They're here for me, they're here beside me and they always will be.
.
"I know, and that time when I went down that water slide and ended up having water in my nose." I laughed as I started to reminisce the times we had fun.
"I moved in the dorm." I suddenly said as I caressed her name above her grave.
"I didn't want to but the guys forced me too and I realized that maybe it would be a good idea." I chuckled to myself as I shifted my gaze at the other grave.
"Baby boy, your uncles have been missing you like crazy." I rolled my eyes. "But of course not as much as I do." I chuckled once more.
"I miss the both of you so so much." I said as the urge to cry came to me once again but I brushed it off.
"I cried too much already." I chuckled as I stared at the both of their graves. I sighed and stared up at the sky.
"You're happy up there right?" I smiled before looking down.
"Baby, I want you to protect your mom while daddy's still not there okay?" I slowly caressed his grave before shifting to the other.
"And honey..."
I looked up and smiled at the blue sky.
"I love you."
.
A/N
Ok I honestly cried while writing this imagine, the first and the second part.
We all know that Namjoon will be a good dad and husband and just the thought of something like this happening to him (I'm not praying it to happen though, not in a million years) is just really sad.
But I wish Namjoon will have a good life in the future. <3
YOU ARE READING
BTS Imagines
Fanfiction"Everyday, I hoped that there was a chance that we would meet and I never knew that we would." I said looking up at the stars. "No matter how twisted the world is, you'll always end with to me." He said kissing my temple. . Let your imagination run...
