/based on picture above/
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I saw something today. It was cute and it was innocent but there was something about it. It was Michael's birthday today and he had never been more excited. We had invited all his friends over; they were going to have a sleepover, play boardgames and stuff their faces with sickly sweet chocolate. I went to get those Easter eggs he asked for. They had to be 'white with different coloured polka dots, momma!'. I searched the store for hours with no prevail until, lo and behold, my gaze landed on the chocolate eggs which fit his exact description. I was so overcome with happiness. I hadn't seen him this enthusiastic about anything since.... There was no need to remember that now. It was a forgotten memory, locked away in our subconscious brain and we, I, shall never bring it up again.
I turn my attention back to the eggs I had played out on the plate. There were four of them, huddled together in the middle, scared for their sham lives or cramping up with joy at the fact that they were finally wanted. That they were worth something. The gold dots reflected the bright rays of the sun, blasting through the kitchen windows. The blues shimmer like waves in vast oceans, the wave tips dancing with the tide. The greens reminded me of forests and the colour of newly grown sprouts, emerging from the under growth. Starting their new lives. But the red spots. They looked like stains. Stains of blood and memories of the past resurface. Memories were a curious thing. They taken so long and are so difficult to submerge but they rekindle within seconds. Like love. Ah, the twisted ecstasy of love.
I turn my attention back to the white portals that could take me back to all my many concealed feelings and facades. I had led multiple lives, some of them bad, most of them good. But the past must remain in the past. If we let the past control the present, then we shall never have a future. It was as simple as that.
Dont let your past define who you are. You are not that person.
But maybe I was. The eggs were a reminder of the lives I had forgotten, the lives I wanted to leave behind.
I had hurt so many people, broken so many hearts, left so many homes and burned down so many futures. I was the harbinger of destruction. The worst part was I felt nothing. Nothing at all. And it hurt me really badly, I wanted to feel something. I look somebody in the eyes and I cannot relate with anything they feel. I feel isolated, dehumanised even.
So I started a new life where I could learn how to feel. I became very successful at it, I have a family, an amazing husband and the best son I could ever ask for. But, there are always these moments when you feel your old life seeping into your new one like oil creeping in through cracks. You can't falter or else you give your perfect life away.
It's so easy to loose everything.
Just like how easy it is to crush an egg.
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picture credits : bluebudgie from Pixbay
YOU ARE READING
chaotic good
Short Storyjust a series of short stories that I thought would be fun to do! they're all based on random images off the internet and I'll try to update daily if possible and feel free to request! /I have no idea who the cover photo is by but credits to the cre...
