Scared of falling in love with my bestfriend.
"Paano? Kailan pa?" Tanong pa ni Alora habang kumakain pa rin ng Turon.
"I don't know Alora. Basta this past few weeks talaga may somethin- WAAAAAA Alora." Binitawan ko ang Turon at hinawakan ang balikat ni Alora para humarap sa akin.
"Do you think, it's normal? Is it fine to fall in love with your bestfriend?" Seryosong tanong ko sa kaniya. But this crazy bestfriend of mine just laughed.
"Yes, it's normal. But be careful of the consequences. You know na hindi lahat ng gusto nakukuha diba?" Biglang naging seryoso si Alora. I know naman na mahirap itong pinasok ko. Pero kakayanin ko naman diba?
"I just need to confirm na may gusto talaga ako kay Seb. I'll just shrugged this off." I looked at the sky and asking for help na sana hindi talaga.
Days, weeks and months passed and I confirmed it. I fell in love with my bestfriend.
My life after I confirmed it, it was never been easy. Ngayon ko lang kasi nalaman na may pagkaplayboy itong si Seb. He's going out with some other girls. He's always telling me about them, and there's me just listening to all of his love stories. Him, not knowing I am hurting.
After this fling to this girl, after a week there's another one. Telling me again about this girl. I know never magseseryoso itong si Seb.
"Seb hindi ka ba napapagod? Puro ka nalang jowa eh." We're here sa tambayan namin everytime na naghihintay kami sa service.
"No, tsaka yung iba hindi ko naman sineseryoso HAHAHA" He's busy at his phone, chatting to his new girl.
Napairap nalang ako. "Alam mo Seb, bakit ba naghahanap ka pa sa iba. Bakit ayaw mo tumingin sa paligid mo alam mo, kung hindi ikaw yung manloloko, ikaw yung niloloko. Bigla ka nalang hindi kinakausap, Sana okay ka pa." Naiinis kong sabi sa kaniya, palagi naman kasi siyang nakatingin sa malayo, naghahanap. Bakit hindi nalang ako?
One day, Seb called me.
"Ami, pwede ka ba after school?" Mukhang kumakain na naman itong si Seb.
"Yes, Wala naman kaming sched ng meeting sa Org kaya free ako later. Why?" Sana'y na ako sa mga ganitong tanong ni Seb. Madalas kasi kakain kami sa Tapsilogan malapit dito sa school.
"Kung kakain tayo ako magbabayad nang pagkain ko. Ayaw kong ikaw palagi nagbabayad." He chuckled in the other line.
"Yes kakain tayo and okay ikaw magbayad sa pagkain mo dahil alam kong suntok abot ko sayo kapag nakipagtalo pa ako." I heard another chuckle. "May ipapakilala ako sayo. I know she's the one na Ami! She's the girl I'm looking for."
I can imagine Seb smiling while telling me that. I was hurt. But I need to act like I am fine. Until now, Seb doesn't know anout my feelings for him. I was scared if ever na malaman niya. Hindi ko alam kung anong manyayari sa friendship namin, mahirap na. Baka magiba ang friendship na pinundar namin, ayaw ko. Hindi ko kaya.
"Okay sige! G ako. Sure kang iyan na yung the one mo ha. Hoy Seb, hindi ako sanay na seryoso ka. Baka mamaya gaguhin mo yan ha." I laughed, not real though.
"Oo nga seryoso ako. Parang tanga ka din Ami, syempre hindi ko na ito gagaguhin 'no." Okay, talo na ako. Umpisa palang naman. Talo na.
"Okay sige na bye na. Busy ako, see you!" I ended the call not waiting him to talk.
Naglalakad na ako papalabas ng school para pumunta na sa Tapsi, pero biglang nagbeep yung phone ko.
From: ALOveRA
Hoy gaga, goodluck sayo ha. Sige payag pa. Huwag ko lang makikita bukas na iiyak-iyak ka sinasabi ko sayo malapit na kitang gisingin sa katotohanan.
Natawa nalang ako sa text sa akin ni Alora. I know hindi niya gagawin iyan, hanggang salita lang naman siya eh.
To: ALOveRA
Opo, thank you ha. Sobrang napagaan mo pakiramdam ko. Sana hindi masarap ulam niyo :)
I off my phone and continue walking. Nakarating na ako sa Tapsi at nakita ko na naroon na sila Seb at yung girl. I walked towards them and Seb saw me.
"Uy nandito na si Ami." Tumayo si Seb para salubungin ako. Pero bigla din siyang hinatak nung babae.
Nagulat ako doon sa ginawa niya. Si Seb nagulat din.
"So Danixe this is Ami, my bestfriend. Ami this is Danixe my girlfriend." Aray ha, hindi naman masyadong masakit. Slight lang.
"Hi! I'm Amalia but you can call me Ami nalang din." I smile at her and extended my arm para makipagshake hands but then, she just smile. Ma-attitude itong babaeng ito ha.
"Hi, Call me Danixe. We're not even close so just call me Danixe." Sabi niya sa akin na parang walang gana.
Girl, wala naman akong balak maging close sayo, baka magkapatayan lang tayo. I wanted to tell that to her but I looked at Seb, I can't hurt my bestfriend. Now I know, he's my weakness.
After eating I excused myself na uuwi na. I can't barely looked at them having their sweet moments. Mas masakit lang.
Malapit na matapos ang school year namin. Si Seb humihingi sa akin ng tulong noong isang araw. Danixe and Seb broke up 3 months ago. Si Seb ang nakipagbreak.
Gusto ni Seb tulungan ko siyang mapalapit kay Gracie.
Si Gracie, my another bestfriend after Alora. Dati Ako at si Alora lang but now we have Gracie na din.
I said okay to Seb. I told him na I will help him.
"Oh kumusta yung pagtulong mo kay Ace?" Alora and I are walking dito sa field. We're waiting for Gracie.
"Okay naman. Madali lang naman silang magiging close eh, yun pa si Seb. Pag gusto niya gagawin niya talaga lahat. Basta masaya naman si Seb okay na ako. I will always support Seb, I promise him." I bitterly smiled.
"Okay ka ba talaga? Sure kang hindi ka magsisisi na ipaglapit yang dalawa mong kaibigan?" I stopped walking, napaisip ako sa sinabi ni Alora.
Alora also stopped walking and face me. "Ami, hindi sa sinisiraan ko si Gracie. Ang gusto ko lang ipaliwanag sayo na, minsan isipin mo din yung sarili mo. Maging selfish ka pagdating palagi kay Seb natatanga ka. I know it's your part na tulungan si Seb sa kahit anong paraan. You always do that for him. Kaso natatanga ka talaga nakakalimutan mo sarili mo. Sinasabi mong okay lang sayo but I know deep inside of you, kabaliktaran nun. I want you to be selfish sometimes Ami. I also want you to be happy." She held my hand ang hug me.
"I don't mean na hindi deserve ni Gracie maging happy ha. All of us deserve to be happy and simula talaga na maging gusto mo yang bestfriend mo, It's been a long time since I saw you being happy. I want the old Amalia back." We stay like that until dumating si Gracie.
Am I really losing myself? Mahirap talaga pala na itago yung feelings 'no? Lalo na sa bestfriend mo. I just want Seb and Gracie to be happy. And this time I know seryoso na talaga si Seb, I know him. He's my bestfriend. To be true, I'm not okay. Minsan iniisip ko, bakit hindi nalang ako? Bakit yung kaibigan ko pa?
YOU ARE READING
Maybe Yours, Maybe Not (COMPLETE)
Conto"Ako yung nauna, pero siya ang wakas" This story is inspired by the song of Moira Dela Torre, Paubaya. A Short Story between 2 bestfriends, Amalia Calynn Benavidez and Ace Sebastian Valencia.
