With Tragic Eyes and Bloodshot Dreams

Chapter 11: My Worst Habit Is My Own Sadness

Gakushu rubs his eyes, startling awake as he hears shouting. The sun rays burn his eyes, and he jumps up, squinting at his classmates. Why were they shouting? Were they alright?

He needn't have been worried. Those were shouts of excitement. Everyone is smiling, looking out into the front of the boat, chattering about how they can see Okinawa island.

He slumps back against the side of the ship. God, he's still so exhausted.

Hazama pulls out her earphones from next to him. They were the only two curled up on the side of the ship, under the shade. The rest of the lucky bastards don't have to worry about getting sunburnt, like the two of them do.

"Vampires." Akabanehad teased them. Hazama beamed, and took it as a compliment but Gakushu just rolled his eyes and retorted, "You're the one with those sharp fangs, are you sure you're not the vampire?"

Akabane had just winked, before heading out into the sun.

That idiot should know better than heading out in the sun like that, since he's a redhead, but Akabane doesn't care about getting sunburnt, it seems.

If that fucker gets skin cancer, it's his own fault.

"I see you've returned to land of the living." She holds out her earbud. "Want some music? I have something to talk with you about."

Gakushu moves closer, accepting the earbud. They really haven't spent much time together have they?

He listens to the upbeat tunes blaring through. It's surprisingly not as depressing as you'd expect from someone who acts like Hazama does.

That's something he feels like he's constantly reminded of. Everyone acts. Everyone puts up a mask.

Most people are not what they seem, ever.

"I know today is going to be hard on you, isn't it?" Hazama starts.

Gakushu nods, remembering what he has to do today. The thing he's going to have to face. But he doesn't know what this has to do with what Hazama wants to tell him.

"I know you're not religious, but I am religious. I'm a theistic satanist." She says, her voice filling with uncharacteristic passion at the last word. Gakushu blinks.

Okay.

Hazama is a satanist. Why is he not surprised.

"What, do you want me to join you on a ritual or something?" He jokes.

But Hazama doesn't say anything. Just smiles.

Gakushu has a sudden, sinking feeling.

The two of them spend the next ten minutes drawing a pentagram on the deck of the ship and trying to summon a demon to grant him courage. It's not something he believes in personally, but Hazama seems wholeheartedly invested in it, so Gakushu goes along. The principles of satanism aren't something he totally disagrees with. It has the Machiavellian vibes that his father loves.

"I don't get why people have problems with satanism. It gets a bad rep, but it's not what most people think it is." She says, her face strangely serene as they erase the pentagram, "And if you don't believe in it, then fine. But it's a religion just like any other religion. We don't hurt other people and remain under the bounds of the law. So why the hate?"

"Because they assume it's for 14 year old goth children who try too hard to be edgy?" He says, helpfully.

Hazama rolls her eyes at him.

"You like the same music that I do," she points out. "You're just as edgy as I am. But do you feel any different? I used magick on you, so you should be feeling more courage right now."