𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 ❪ 𝘣𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘦 ❫

34

Rachel looks at me, tears in her eyes, weighing down her eyelashes. ''Oh my God, Gar, I am so sorry.'' 

I look back at the photograph before looking back at our hands, intertwined together, and then back up at her reassuring smile tainted with sadness. ''It's okay. There is nothing to be sorry for.'' I sniff, swallowing my tears. I hate crying in front of people; it's always been a message forced onto me by society. 

''You can cry, you know. It's an emotion that needs to be shown. There is no point in suppressing it,'' she says, squeezing my hand, supplying it with warmth. ''That's what you've taught me.'' 

I smile at the memory Rachel has mentioned. 

But then my mind drifts back to my parents' death. 

Death isn't kind. That was something I knew long before I could speak. It snatches where it can, taking people who are far too young, far too good. It never pretends to care, it never pretends to understand the love people can have for each other. It has never touched me quite so close as it did when it seized my mother and father away. Death had ripped away a part of me, the part of me that was given by my parents' love, only to be wrenched away once more. 

She surveys my face, trying to find some change in my facial expression, finding nothing, and her face falls. 

The pain is still fresh after all these years — maybe not as intense as the first few days, weeks, months, after their deaths, but still there. 

''I am so sorry, Garfield. Honestly. I know how it feels. My mother died —'' She pauses, and releases a sort of mix of a sob and a cough. ''She... she killed herself.'' I go to interrupt but she continues. ''The point is I know how it feels to have someone you have known for your life to be suddenly ripped away from you. Especially when their death is unexplained, or unpredictable. But death isn't something to be sad about. It isn't about how they died — or why — why they  —my mother — decided to leave this world. It is about what that person has achieved. What they did. What impact they made on the world.'' 

I try to focus on the beauty of her words, but I can only think about her mother's suicide. ''Why — why didn't you tell me? I had no idea, Rachel.'' 

''Because — because I wanted to face it without you. Some things need to be faced without others.'' She smiles, her eyes glistening with tears. ''How — how did they die?'' 

''Housefire,'' I say bluntly. 

''I, honestly, I am so, so sorry for your loss.''

''It's okay, Rach. You don't need to apologise. I just miss them — I miss them so much, but I know they are here with me right now. They are around me in all areas of my life. They live on in my heart.'' 

She smiles, a full-hearted one — a smile radiating with love and happiness. Rachel leans in and softly places a kiss on my lips. I grin. 

The love from my parents may have been taken from me — but now I realise it was destiny for Rachel and I to meet. I am here to help her; she is here to help me. 

We are fighting different battles, but need each other to overcome them. 

As we smile at each other, the sky enlightens in blooms of brilliant light, like flowers in the sky. Fireworks. 

No idea how I feel about this chapter lmao but I cannot be asked to rewrite it lol. I heard somewhere that we judge our own work extremely harshly, but to others, it seems incredible, so let's see lol. I have mock exams at the end of November :/ I have been revising like c r a z  y but I still feel a little scared :( I am sure it will go fine. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Stay safe guys.