I'm talking to the spider on my ceiling
And I'm starting to get the slightest feeling
That maybe, just maybe, he's not listening
Or that maybe he's lacking
basic understanding
Of humans and their emotions
And their language

Mr. Spider, I can relate to you
I don't really understand people either
They're so dang complicated, aren't they??
So confusing and stupid too.
I wish you and I could comprehend
The words and sounds we say to eachother
Im sure we could learn a thing or two
About each others bothers

I'd tell you how people are strange
And difficult
And all still special in their own way
Each kinda like your own spider webs
Except so much easier to get tangled in
I'd tell you of the webs of lies
That every person makes
And hopefully you'd stop me
From making more and more web metaphors
Because honestly, it's kinda silly.

You'd tell me about your spidey life,
And the dangers and risks you face.
Absoulute idiots coming at you with boots
And trying to take your life.
You'd tell me of all the fools you've met
Who got trapped in your webs
And how they made a delicious meal.
Sometimes I wish I could catch some fools
But I'd let you eat them instead

Mr. Spider, I'm thanking you
For this chat
As you quickly crawl away
I hope you have a good spidey life
And live out well the rest of your days
I hope no one squishes you
I hope you survive
So thank you so much
So long and goodbye

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