Mangled Dustberry

Feeling Blue

     Blue had continued on as if nothing had happened. But... Each day that passed was only another day without Dust to him... When he saw nice-cream he couldn't help but wonder if Dust was still alive if he would ever want to get nice-cream with him. When he trained with Alphys he wondered if Dust would encourage him if he was there when he made a mistake. 

     When Blue saw echo flowers he was reminded of how he would never get to give Dust one and work up the courage to confess. When Blue saw his brother he wondered if he would have accepted Dust given the chance. When Blue saw his friends Ink and Dream he was reminded how Dust was dead because of them. How someone so close to him, was dead because of his two best friends... 

     It hurt to think about. It hurt Blue so much he didn't care that the title of the chapter was a pun. So Blue started to avoid Ink and Dream. He didn't want Dream to notice his emotions weren't as positive. Because then Dream might tell his brother...

     Blue didn't want that to happen. He had to remain happy for his brother. Even if... It was fake... Blue wondered why Dust had to die... Every day he pondered this. 

     When Blue would think about heading to Alphys' home to train, he just didn't feel like it all the time. He didn't feel like going to his friends with his problems either. Mainly his fellow Star Sans' because... Of obvious reasons. He didn't want to bother his other friends because he didn't want to burden them with his problems. 

     It was so hard to accept... Slowly, Blue started closing himself off from everyone. He started to wonder why he even bothered going to training, since Alphys thought he was weak anyway... That's what everyone thought... Except for two monsters... 

     Now one of those two monsters that didn't see him as weak or naive was dead... He didn't want him to die... Why did he have to die... He started staying in his room more often. At some point, he even started to lock his doors so he could be alone. 

     Sometimes, Blue would spend a whole day going from crying, denial, anger, and back to crying into Dust's scarf. Sometimes he would spend a whole day just doing one of those things. On the days when he would go into full denial, he would set up a tea party with his action figures and Dust's hoodie and Dust's brothers scarf that he always wore. He would act like Dust was actually there. But then it would all come crashing down and he couldn't deny it any longer and would either get angry and make a mess of his room, or break down crying into Dust's hoodie and scarf. 

     It was a lot for Blue, but he acted fine. He acted like he was fine for his brother and friend's sake. But they could tell something was at least off about Blue. Blue had also started losing the motivation to eat as much. Blue still ate, but he just didn't feel like doing it all the time. 

     Blue also started going to Grillby's a lot. It's not like Papyrus would notice. He was always at Muffet's anyways... Blue had already knew Grillby, but didn't go to Grillby's a lot. But now he had a reason to. Maybe if he could actually manage to get drunk he would forget, even for a little while. 

     Blue hated this. He had never felt so down for so long, and even if he became happy it wouldn't always last long. He felt so drained... It was harder and harder to sum up the will to get up out of bed in the morning. But he knew his brother would worry if he acted different from his cheerful self, so he still got up. 

     He would need to stop by Grillby's again tonight.