"Hello kids!" greeted Lars who's sitting infront of the computer while teaching the little kids of first grade. Every kid smiled at him and greeted him back.
"So today, we are learning about... upper and under! or top and bottom" he cheered and beamed from ear to ear. "What is that?" asked the little boy from the other line.
Lars smiled at the kid and explained the topic briefly. "For example, if I place my palm on the upper part of the box's surface, my palm is on top, if I place it under the box, it's in the bottom." said Lars.
The children were amazed upon learning a new lesson from Mr. Ulrich. "Alright class can you guys say... upper?" Lars said.
"Upper!" the children said in unison. "Very good children! now say, under!" Lars said. The children repeated after him. "Very good everyone." Lars smiled.
He later on pulled a shoe. "So kids, I have here a shoe!" Lars exclaimed. "Do you guys know whose shoe is this?" Lars smiled once again as he hold the shoe in his hand.
"No!" the children said. "Great! because I don't know too! and I found this under my husband and I's bed." Lars smiled awkwardly with a hint of fear.
"A-alright class.. can we repeat the word 'under'?" Lars pleaded. "Under!" the children exclaimed. "Very good everyone!" Lars forced out a smile infront of the webcam.
"Now, we got to ask my husband, Kirk, whose shoe is this!" Lars raised the shoe in his hand.
"Honey! Kirk! why is there a man's shoes under our bed?" Lars looked away from the webcam.
"Why the fuck do you care?! Oh either way where is the car keys I'm going somewhere!" Lars' husband shouted faintly from behind.
"Oh- the car keys! it's on TOP of the table." Lars replied to his husband. After that the door behind him was shut and Lars went back to face the webcam again.
"Oh hey kids! for now, let's learn about the hot and cold!" Lars said. "For example, the fire is hot! kids can you guys say, 'hot'."
"Hot!" the children replied.
"And if the fire is hot, the ice is cold! can you repeat the word I said? cold?"
"Cold!" the children said. "Good! the ice is cold.. yeah.. cold.. like my husband..." Lars slowly stared blankly at the wall and the whole class was silent, after for about ten seconds of spacing out, Lars was pulled back to his reverie.
"Oh sorry again kids, that's right! the ice is cold." He looked back to the camera and smiled. "Now let's learn about the things you do for a day! for example, at twelve p.m. in the afternoon, what do you usually do at twelve in the afternoon?" Lars asked.
"Eat lunch!" the class said. "Very good kids! but there's an another twelve in one day! at twelve a.m. in the midnight, what do you usually do?"
"Sleep!" the children answered once again. "That's right! but not my husband! at twelve in the midnight, he's not home yet! and I don't even know where that guy even go, I mean kids- is that even right?! you're literally married and you don't even go home to your partner at all?!... you guys don't know?! not at all?!" Lars asked and literally scared the shit out of the kids infront of the camera.
"Oh sorry kids! anyways, let's just talk about cellphones! do you guys have cellphones?" Lars smiled at the kids like nothing happened.
"Yes!" the kids answered.
"That's great!... uh do any of you kids know how to open a cellphone with a password? so I can do it to my husband's phone! I'm about to go apeshit just to know who's he been texting all day long!... none of you can open a cellphone with a password?! none?!" Lars looked at the kids in the screen as if he was going to eat them.
"Oh I mean- none?" Lars smiled instead. "Uh anyways! for us to be happy, let's just sing instead!" Lars brought out a small ukulele and showed it to the camera.
"Now give me a simple word and I will compose a song out of it!" Lars smiled infront of the camera while tilting his head sideways.
"Betrayer!" said the children in unison.
Lars' face suddenly changed and he swallowed hard, his head shot up. "Ooh wow! that is a heavy word, kids! c-can we atleast change it?" Lars sat up straight and smiled fakely.
"Cheater!" the children exclaimed happily.
"-What?! seriously guys?! I mean- oh not that one! how about... an instrument!" Lars forced out a smile.
"Trumpet!"
Lars lost his shit and smashed the ukulele infront of the webcam. He started cussing out of nowhere and the childrens were in shock.
After twenty-two seconds of destroying the ukulele, Lars looked at the camera and he looked worried.
"Uhm- kids? the ukulele got broken! n-now.. I need to go." Lars stuttered as he realise what he's done.
"S-see 'ya later kids!" he waved infront of the camera as he started to sob. "My husband doesn't love me anymore!" he whined and left the zoom meeting.
