So I'm going to be alone tomorrow. It's almost 11pm. I can't sleep. He's fallen asleep. Hasn't kept a promise. But I can understand...he was tired...so it's okay...he...h-he needs his energy for tomorrow...
God I'm a selfish creature. He's with me 24/7 but I get so upset when he's not with me...I...I need to give him space...but it's so hard with my personality...
...
I guess that sounds like an excuse...
I'm afraid of being alone...no...I'm afraid of feeling lonely...it hurts so much...
Fuck...I'm scared of falling asleep again...it's been so long since I've felt this way...I'm trying not to cry...I'm hyperventilating...my head hurts from the strain...I'm trying to calm down...but I'm so scared..and there's a voice in my head that's saying bad things again..I don't want to go to him...he deserves the rest...after dealing with someone like me...
I'll just send him to sleep...I'll stay up in case he needs me...
I can't sleep...it hurts too much...
