Stray kids Imagines

Cruel Summer Part Two- Chan

Walking down the hall of the hotel I wished he would chase me. I imagined him to confess right before I walked out. He would say " you're so much more to me." Then I would look at him and he would look at me and see me and not my body. I quickly made it to the elevator looking at my hand holding the room key.
"Fuck..." I muttered.  Standing in the elevator my mind replayed the last moment. His face was facing downwards so I couldn't see how he felt. But he knew how I felt. I made it so obvious in that moment. He wouldn't want anything to do with me now. Not after that. Get tangled up with someone who had feelings for him when he didn't feel the same. He won't call me I thought. He won't text me and this will end here. A not so happy ending to my night. What started out with stolen stares and secret meetings turned into a dramatic exit of a side hoe. I'm ridiculous. I really thought he would just chase me and confess. I'm more delusional than I thought.
The elevator dings and I step out looking around the lobby one last time. I recall the moments we shared in different places. Our first night when he was getting us the room he looked so nervous it was endearing. The concierge picked up on what was happening and figured we were a young couple finally able to break away from our parents for a night commenting "Have a night away you too and I wish you a happy future." To which Chan blushed and bowed. Moments like that made me feel like we were a couple and it felt so right.
Walking to my car I remember the first time he kissed me. It was raining and I was looking for my umbrella in the back seat. He laughed behind me already holding it and keeping us dry.
"Chan! Why didn't you tell me I've been rummaging for four minutes now!" I said annoyed but smiling.
"I figured you would figure out since you're not wet from the rain." He laughed pulling me in.
"You just wanted to look at my butt I bet!" I said playfully slapping his arm.
"You caught me!" He laughed holding my face in his free hand. "You caught me.." he mumbled looking in my eyes longingly as he moved toward my face kissing me.
A single tear ran down my face knowing this is the last time I'll see him. That's the thing about illicit affairs.. they show their truth one single time and then they die. A billion little times.
I step into my car and sigh defeated. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. I'm stupid. If I stayed and kept my mouth shut everything would be fine right now. But no I had to make a scene and now I can't even think of him without hating myself. I check my phone for any sign of a second chance with Chan. The screen was blank with no notifications. I guess I never mattered to him.

I hear a tapping on my window which scared me a bit and I roll it down to see a figure standing at my door.
"Hey ma'am there's someone who's been following you to your car just to let you know. I've been watching on the security cameras he took the elevator after you and followed you out here. He's sitting over there by the vending machines." A man in a security uniform tells me.
I look over to the vending machine to see a dark figure leaning on it but looking away.
"Oh ok thank you sir." I said as he walked back into the hotel through the security door.
How peculiar I thought. Maybe it was him.. I felt a sudden jolt and got out of my car leaving my things inside. I locked it and approached the figure slowly. My feet on the gravel making my foot steps known the figure turns around.
"Christopher?" I asked waiting for him to smile at me and walk towards me. But the man stood still. Maybe he didn't hear me. I approached him closer asking again.
"Christopher is that you? I didn't think you would come out here and" my sentence stopped once I realized it was not him. The Man standing there held a camera and wore a grimace.  My head beat was in my throat at this point and I froze.
"So you know Bangchan huh?" The man said his face appeared but he was wearing a face mask so I couldn't make out his full face.
"Uhh no no I was just looking for someone else my brother ran away.." I panicked backing away.
"That's not what these picture tell me. I've been watching you two for a few months now. I know everything." The man said confidently.
"Why didn't you sell the pictures then?" I asked quietly.
"Cause I knew I could sell them better with a story.  How's the headline "stray kids bangchan's secret affair ends sour". He said laughing.
"Or how about "exclusive interview with leader of stray kids Fuck doll" he laughed again.
I didn't know what to say. I simply just began to cry. Not only did I lose Chan.  But I ruined his career.
The camera flashed at me and all I could do was stand there and cry.  The entrance opened and the manager came into to see what was the commotion. Shooing away the camera man he walked me to my car and asked me questions. But to be honest I don't remember anything.

I woke up the next  morning in bed. My tear stained cheeks told me it was not a dream and it all clearly happened.  I reached for my phone to check the time.
1:58 am
I look around in the dark and smell a familiar scent. Sitting up quickly I waited a second for my eyes to adjust to the night. How did I end up here? All I remember is the flashes of the camera and stumbling to my car with the help of the hotel manager but am I home? I hear something stir behind me and I then piece together everything. I'm still with Chan?
My shocked breath and jerk of my body awoke Chan who seemed awake almost immediately.
"Chris..." is all I could say. He breathed out deeply and sat up.
"Is it ok if I turn on the light?" He asks me and I nod assuming his eyes are adjusted like mine.
He rolls over the turn on the table lamp and rolls back over looking at me with sorrow in his eyes.
"I know you don't want to talk but you don't have to.." he began. 
"All I ask is you listen.." he said taking a deep breath and looking at me.
We sat in front of each other. Our legs crossed and our eyes looking into eachothers. The mood felt serious and I wasn't sure about how to feel. It never felt this way with him.
"I want to apologize first.. I never meant for it to end up this way. I know you might think badly of me I can tell by your body language but I'm unsure why to be honest." I felt my blood begin to heat. He doesn't know why?
"I feel energized with you. You're an escape from my job. You make me feel good and I feel like I have a lot of fun with you." He explained looking in my eyes.  He only sees me as fun? I'm like an arcade for a group of kids after finals is over. A reward. The taste of an ice cream cone after a long run. Tears begin the well up in my eyes which cut off Chan's umms.
"Actually listen I don't think I want to do this no I can't Chan." I said stuttering. His reflexes made him reach for my hand which i sharply pulled away hurt.
"How dare you..." I said louder than his calm talking voice he was using before. This caught him by surprise as he leaned back. Eyes wide open he looks like he's about to speak.
I cut him off " How dare you do this to me. You've made me a mess. I can't stop thinking of you. You call me baby and you don't think of the consequences. You kiss me with so much passion you make me think it's real for a minute. You hold my hand when we cross the street and squeeze it when I get nervous in crowds. Then you say I'm your fun away from work." I raised my voice. Getting up from the bed.
"Have you ever thought about how I feel?" I cried. I walked towards him. He was now staring at me eyes widened. His breathing was heavy but not as labored as mine as a weep between my rage.
"I'm a toy to you right? You play with me then I break. You'll find a new one yeah..." I was hysterical. Dropping to my knees with a thud I sobbed uncontrollably. Chan stood up immediately. You would of thought I was stabbed judging by his reaction as he rushed over to me. It felt that way though. I felt as if my heart had a knife tearing through it every aching moment with him in that room.
"I need to to breathe... come on please just take a breath" he said to me as he tried to help me stand but gave up and just held my shaking body. I pushed him away from me and stood up using the bed to support myself.  He composed himself and stood up aswell.

I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you! Ain't that the worst thing you've ever heard!" Wiping my tears I look to the window as a head police sirens approaching. I sniffled and shuffled toward to window to see what was happening. He walked over to the window and stood silently with me watching.
The man who was holding the camera to me earlier that night was being arrested and yelled at by the hotel manager.
I glance over at Chan.
He looks up grinning like a devil.
"It's new. The shape of your body.  But it's blue. The feeling I got." He said looking at me. I turned towards him confused.
"It's been a cruel summer..." he continued.
"It's cool.. we didn't make any rules it was an unbreakable heaven.." I laughed sadly.

"I don't want to keep secrets just to keep you. " he said  still looking at me. Reaching for my hands I let him hold them.
"I love you..." he finally said smiling.

"That's the best thing I've ever heard." I said back as he pulled me into him. Kissing me with  as much passion and vigor I had wished.