So you have come to read our classic story again well if you remember ending of the last chapter we had a little run in with a.
Beetlejuice: BLAH BLAH , You're so boring, these guys just want to read how their going to get this fine piece of ass. * does a sexy poses*
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Oh god not now BJ: To Late!! ^^
* Music starts Playing *
BJ: 🎶Hey Boys!!! I'm on Wattpad , Sorry spoil your fun and all that, but let's skip the intro and start on the whole, Well y'know being dead thing!🎶
* BJ pushes the narrator to out of the way *
BJ: 🎶 You're doomed!!! Enjoy the singing , The sword of Damocles is swinging, oh and if I don't see voting , I'll kill ya my self , The whole being dead thing!!!🎶
* she starts floating over a cemetery where there's people mourning over the dead campers*
BJ: 🎶Death can get a person stressed * does a dramatic pose * We should have carpe'd way more diems , Now we're never gonna see 'em!!! * Pulls a mourner close *I can show you what comes next ,So don't be freaked ,So stay in your seats, * shoves them to the ground * I do this bullshit for like eight times a week!!! So just relax, you'll be fine, Drink your fifty-dollar wine ,And take a breath. 🎶* Takes Breath *
Chorus: 🎶Welcome to a story about death!!!🎶
BJ * turns into Muppet playing the banjo * 🎶 You're, You're gonna be fine, On the other side!^^🎶 * turns into a sexy punk rock star * DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE! YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!🎶
* she turns into a cute chibi *
BJ: 🎶I'll...I'll be your guide, To the other side🎶
Chorus and BJ: 🎶Though in full disclosure: It's a story about death 🎶
BJ: * Transports to the Nether World *🎶 Everybody gets on fine here, *Grabs theses fames composers* Like Rodgers, Hart, and Hammerstein here, The women's bathroom has no line here, Just pee where you want, The whole being dead thing!! 🎶
* Flies around people waiting in line for entering the land of the afterlife *
BJ: 🎶 You're just gonna love the folks here, * shoves a PC jackass to fire pit *Yeah, I know you're woke, but you can take a joke here, And every chapter I do, like, a ton of coke here. The whole- * snorts a mountain of cocaine * The whole being dead thing! 🎶
* she lands on the ground and walks into the streets *
BJ: 🎶 Nobody is bullet-proof *changes into the Wii Fit Trainer* "I work out, I eat clean!"* changes back to her lazy self and slouches* Jesus, pass the Dramamine, * grabs a Karen *Time to face the brutal truth, 'Cause we're all on a hitlist, Might not live 'till Christmas, Choke to death on Triscuits * shoves some in the Karen's mouth and the witch cokes on them **shrugs *Hey, that just statistics, So take a little break here, Kinda like a wake here, The scenes are fake here, BUT THERE'S A GIANT SNAKE HERE * laughs evilly as the sandworm eats a random person *
Chorus: 🎶 Welcome to a story about death!! 🎶
BJ: 🎶* turns into a beautiful jazz singer * You're... you're gonna be fine * applauses * THANK YOU!!! On the other side * walks to a grieving woman * How ya doing ? 🎶
Random woman: Whhaaaaa, my baby boy!
BJ : Not to good , 🎶 Scooby dooby da beep bop!!! I'll be your guide to the other side, Seriously, though, this is a show about 🎶
Chorus: 🎶 Death is taboo, but it's hardly something new, There's nothing medical professionals can do, 'Cept maybe just bill you🎶
Bj: If you die while reading this story, it'll still be updated , possibly
Chorus: 🎶 There's no destiny or fate, Just a terrifying wait, Filled with people that you hate.And on a certain date, the universe kills you! 🎶
BJ:🎶 That's the thing with life, No-one makes it out alive, Toss that body in the pit, "Gosh, it's awful, ain't it tragic?", "Blah, blah, Bible. Jesus magic.", When you're dead, who gives a shit? No Pilates, no more yoga, "Namaste", you freakin' posers * gives the bird *🎶
BJ: 🎶From the cradle to cremation, Death just needs a little conversation.🎶
BJ:🎶 I have mastered the art🎶
Chorus: 🎶Dies Irae!!🎶
BJ: 🎶Of tearing convention apart🎶
Chorus : 🎶 Dies Irae!!🎶
BJ: 🎶So, how about we all make a start🎶
Chorus: 🎶 Dies Irae!! 🎶
BJ: 🎶On the whole being dead thing 🎶
BJ and Chorus: 🎶God, I hope you're ready for a show about death!!!🎶
BJ * ends the song with a another theatrical pose *
Y/n: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ember: 😒
Jaoslyn : Okay......
Michelle: ...................
Fredda: * wasn't paying attention and was asleep to the whole thing*
Hannah: * wasn't even there and already left *
BJ: What no applause? Wow the author must really wasted his time on this chapter.
Y/N: Who?
BJ: Nevermind .* rolls her eyes then looks at the readers* Please tell me you enjoyed it at least!!!! Even if it's a non canon story!!!
