There For You | Jikook

There For You

"I'm sorry..." Jimin whispered out loud in the empty restroom.

Jimin closed his eyes tightly wanting to forget the image of thousands of people watching him as his voice failed him. His hands curled into fists, digging his dull nails into his palm until a sharp pain pulsed through him. No matter how much Jimin tried holding his breath, his chest tightened all the same and tears welled up in the corner of his eyes.

He was a failure. His band members were probably so embarrassed and disappointed. Not only did Jimin make a mistake, but he also did it on stage with his members by his side. He didn't only just bring himself down, but the other boys down as well.

Jimin wished the ground would just open beneath his feet and swallow him up. It couldn't possibly hurt more than he was already hurting. How can something hurt as much as this? How could he be such a failure?

Jimin knew that he should stop and get over it. He was a grown man, not a child to be crying over being a failure. He should accept that he would never sing as beautifully as Jungkook, dance as well as Hoseok hyung, or enrapture the audience with his good looks like Jin hyung. The other members were so good, they all had something they were amazing at doing. Jimin was only second best or a complete failure at doing it. Jimin didn't see a way out of the shadows, he would always be outshined by someone else.

The cries of pain wouldn't stop spilling from his lips continuously. He had to stop. Anybody could come in any minute, and he could embarrass himself even more, which would truly be an achievement after what happened on stage. If anything these torturous thoughts fueled his sobs as they echoed and bounced off the ivory-colored walls.

Jimin let out a self-deprecating, watery chuckle. Nobody else was to blame, but himself. He alone was at fault. He was weak, pathetic, and someone who wore his heart on his sleeve. He should've known better than to think he could do this. Be famous, sing and perform alongside the other members of BTS. It was almost laughable to Jimin, to think that he was talented enough for something this big. They were much too big for his hands to hold, they were slowly slipping through the cracks and crevices of his fingers.

Jimin believed in himself. He believed that he was doing great, that he was finally catching up to the others. That maybe he was as talented as them. Only to get cruelly reminded that he was a loser at singing, at performing. Jimin couldn't understand how he had any fans, or how ARMY could tolerate him as a member of BTS. It was obvious that he was bringing the others down.

Fatigue crawled under his skin, creeping its way into his bones, and he was ready to slide off of the toilet seat and onto the floor. Jimin was so tired and wanted to sleep. To dream of a better reality and ironically wake up from this nightmare.

Knock, knock, knock.

The rhythmic, soft tap of knuckles on the plastic door of the bathroom stall had him panicking. Someone heard him crying.

Jimin gathered himself as quickly as he could. He wiped his face with one hand and straightened out his outfit for good measure. With a last sniffle, he ran his slender hand through his blonde hair and opened the door, apologizing a second time, just because he felt like he had to. There was always something Jimin needed to apologize for.

"Jimin hyung?" A soft, angelic voice that haunted Jimin's dream broke the silence.

Jimin gasped and stumbled backward in horror hitting the plastic door of the bathroom stall. It was Jungkook who was standing in front of him, searching his face with wide, concerned eyes. His beautiful face was stained with worry and it only made Jimin feel worse.

Jimin's heart sank as he covered his mouth to conceal the broken sound he just made. It was too late though. Jungkook probably heard him crying already. Why out of everyone that could've seen him...why did it have to be Jungkook? The person he has liked for years. Now, Jungkook would finally realize just how weak and pathetic his hyung was.