$ᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ ɢʀᴏᴜᴘɪᴇ // $ᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇʙᴏʏ$

Chapter Eighteen

Author's Note: OKAAYY now we're gonna pretend that picture is of Zaida and Ruby :)))))) ^

♡♡♡

Two Days Later...

If we sat like this any longer, in complete silence, I thought I was gonna go insane. All I could hear was the early morning rain drumming on the roof of the bus, and the occasional swish of the windshield wipers.

As the bus drove along the highway, Ruby and I sat out in the main part, everyone else was still asleep. I could have been with Scrim, in between sleep and wakefulness to the sound of the rain in his bunk. But I had to do this instead, though thankfully when I actually worked up the courage to look at Ruby he didn't seem anxious.

He seemed content.

He had his head leaned back against the seat, and his eyes were near-closed. There was a little wistful smile on his lips, as if he was just happy to be near me, enveloped in this strange silence.

"I'm sorry." I blurted out, though after I'd done it I had no idea what I was aiming it at.

"You hoped I'd say no, right?" He said, and then I couldn't quite bring myself to look at him. It sounded so ridiculous once he had said it out loud, and even worse- cold. Really, really cold, and unnatural.

I was unnatural.

"Sort of." I told him, but that came out like there was something wrong with me. It wasn't even a comfort when he was kind about it either, because in a way I didn't want him to be. I wanted him to tell me that I was no good, that it was ridiculous to ask him if he'd be okay with a polyamorous thing between me, him, and Scrim, and that maybe I should get out of the bus and walk in the rain, never looking back.

"I wish I could tell you it would work, as a way to get rid of me." He said. "But you have to know by now that it won't."

Something bright and sharp bubbled up in my chest. And unfortunately it made the words I then tried to babble come out strangely. "I'm not trying to get rid of you, Ruby. I'm not trying to get rid of you, I just-" But he cut me off before I could finish. He put a hand over my hand, and that was enough to silence me.

His words just kind of finished the job.

"It's okay. I'm not exactly great at making kinky games turn into a relationship either." He said, and after that I had to look away. I glanced out of the foggy window, water trickling down it, and pretended to be really interested in the way the rain washed it.

"Is that what this is?" I finally asked.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure we're in a relationship. I think you might even be my girlfriend- though admittedly one who is also in a relationship with my cousin."

Of course once he had said that I couldn't help throwing up my hands.

I mean, really- is that what he thought? He thought I was already his girlfriend? But yet, he also thought that by asking him permission to be with both of them, that meant I was trying to get rid of him?

"I'm not your girlfriend! I'm not yours or Scrim's girlfriend. I'm just- I'm asking if you are okay with me being with Scrim. I'm trying to consider your... feelings..." My voice trailed off, and I was left stranded.

Because really, none of this was a big deal. It was all pretty straightforward. He liked me, and he liked to do any of the kinky things I seemed to need so desperately, and all of this should have been easy, so easy.

Except that none of those things sounded straightforward at all to me. I was wrong inside and I knew I was, because the second he said that he wanted to be with me, all my feelings just kind of rushed out, in one big glut.