Raglak - In to the heart

20

Laksh stopped the car on a secluded place in the forest. It is a river side and there is no one ragini saw there.

She stared laksh and he smiled. This is my secret place. I will come always here whenever i want to clear my mind.

Ragini nodded and they both walked in to one of the river side rock. Ragini sat on there and laksh too sat beside her.

She looked at the river for a long time without uttering a word. Laksh didnt asked her anything,  he know she need time because today she is going to ask every question  that made her life this miserable.

Ragini sighed,  Laksh please hear me out before answering.

Laksh nodded.

Laksh....Do you know how it feels when someone reject us? Do you know when you feel like you are an outcast in your own family,  how it feel facing betrayal from the people whom we thought our own? The feeling of trapped inside a cave and no one,  no one is there to escape?  The feeling When we saw two old people whom we love struggling soo much because of us? Our incapability to not even escape a little kid too from the cave?  No... you didnt know,  not at all you soo many doesnt know that feeling...
but i know, i lived my whole life without any happiness. Do you know as a child i cried for a mother, when i looked around baadi and saw how every child have  someone to call as mother. It hurted me,  it hurted me soo much but my daadi ma loved me. Gave me the love of a mother. She have no time to rest. She became my mother. When on school every parents attended their childrens meeting my daadi ma is the only grand parent.
My father never cared. He never been a father to me, always made distance and i saw how he secretly pampered swara. Swara have a special place in his heart and my little heart always wondered why that man didnt loves me the way he loves swara.
My daadaji show me the love of a father. I know in past, you thought my daadaji and daadi is selfish and only loved me,  they never accepted swara from heart and you all felt it is their fault. Any of you ever thought from their side?  Those 2 became parents of a little child at their old age. For them i am not their grand daughter,  i am their daughter. yes my daadi is selfish,  but why?  because her own son rejected her grand daughter. That man never accepted me as his daughter,  still i respected him as my father. The first rejection in my life is from him.
Whenever i saw swara i can see how colorful her life is and my little heart cried.

I thought everything will be alright when i will grow up.

Then you came,  your proposal. My daadi ma told,  you will love me and show me what real love is. Do you know my daadi ma never gave me any falls hope and i believed her without knowing the man is already rejected me from his heart.

I saw how caring you are and i loved your tenderness. You are a rebel at the same time you are soo soft or i mistaken like that.
Whenever swara said you are not a good guy and not apt for me,  i really want to believe in you and i wanted to live a life full of love.
Then i came to know about swara and her mom. I am sad,  to be honest i am very much sad... Knowing that my mother lived a loveless marriage broken my heart. It hurted me soo much,  but at the end i accepted swara and her mom expecting i will be happy having a sister and a mother. My daadi is angry,  but i want her to rest.. i know how much tired my grand parents are  and i wanted them to rest. My daadi is never comfortable with swara,  do you know why?  Its her fear,  her fear that the way my mother lived her life in a loveless marriage swara will also take away my happiness. How could you blame an old lady for that?
Then you rejected me and my heart broken in to pieces. It hurted soo much. The second rejection in my life, but that is just a start. I cope up with everything..
Do you know how it feels when looking at people when they all know how a guy rejected me?  Still i tried,  tried to forget you.