The wrong kind of love

Chapter Four

Y/N

I had never felt like this before this lonely this disconnected from everything and everyone around me. The past 2 weeks have been a blur, I haven't really seen or spoken to Draco since what happened, he's been avoiding me like his life depends on it. The only time I've been around him is in the odd class we have together and even then he refuses to speak to me or acknowledge my existence at all. I've tried to forget about Malfoy and distract myself by spending all my time with Cedric and my friends.

My head feels heavy today, like it's weighing me down as I get out of bed and carelessly throw my clothes on and start to make my way towards the great hall. I look around for Cedric but he's nowhere to be seen as I make my way towards the slytherin table and place myself next to Millicent Bulstrode and opposite Pansy Parkinson, as I reach over grabbing a piece of burnt toast and some juice. Pansy and Millicent are talking but it's just background noise to me and my thoughts, when something she says draws my attention to them.

"Me and Draco kissed!" Pansy squeals smugly to Millicent who is just as excited as Pansy is as all I could do was watch them talk about how much of a good couple they are together. In that moment my ears began to ring as my heart sank it fell so deep, I tried to take a breath but my lungs felt like they were being consumed by gallons of water. I couldn't hear this, I refused to as I felt my hands become numb as I quickly stood up and stumbled out of the great hall as I could feel tears start to prick my eyes, when I turned the corner my heart began to shatter more then I ever thought was possible as I laid eyes on Cedric.

"c-cedric" I couldn't control the tears at this point as they came flooding down at the sight of Cedric and Cho kissing, I stood there frozen for a moment at the sight of it, how can my heart be broken twice. He must have sensed someone was watching them as he turned to see who it was as his eyes instantly filled with regret as he noticed it was me. In that moment it jolted me back into action as I ran past them and back to my dorm as I heard Cedric call after me but I just wanted to be alone. As soon as I reached the common room all eyes seemed to focus on me as I caught eyes of Draco, but I didn't care I wanted to be alone as I ran up the stairs to my dorm slamming the door harshly behind me. I began to slump against the door, whispering "muffiliato" as I screamed into my knees letting myself cry uncontrollably. I'd never felt like this before like my whole heart had been torn out of my chest, was it me, was I not good enough? I couldn't hear anything above the sound of me crying as I crawled into bed hoping that sleep would somehow take this gut wrenching pain away.