The Loveable Miscreant

Fancy A Dip?

Rumpleteazer was a notorious cat. She didn't care for anything apart from causing mischief and getting into trouble, and the more trouble she could cause, the happier she was.

But she had a secret. One she had kept to herself for as long as she could remember. Most of the time she didn't even think about it, since she was too busy stealing pies from an unsuspecting homeowner's pantry, or rifling through someone's jewellery box. The only time it bothered her was when she was lying in bed.

She would lay there and think of him.

Her hands would wander over her belly and down into her loins, as she imagined his would. Touching her. Adoring her... Oh! It felt good there! His fingers, his cock... deep in her... "Uh...!" She arched back, moaning, whispering his name...

"Teaze! I know you like havin' your wet dreams about You Know 'oo, but some of us is tryina sleep, innit!"

"Shu' up, Jerry!"

Silently cursing her idiot brother, she tried to get back in the zone, but the magic was lost. Damn Jerry for sharing her bed! He would never understand. He was completely immune to such distractions as sex and intimacy. Being a tortoiseshell male, he was completely infertile.

...............

One of the things Rumpleteazer really loved to do was to play pranks on people. Whether it was frightening the life out of the other cats by pretending to be Macavity, dressing up as a ghost using Jellylorum's freshly laundered sheets, putting whoopie cushions under Jennyanydot's chair, or stealing people's belongings and putting them in hard to reach places (like the main road), both Mungojerry and Rumpleteazer had readily earned their titles as the Junkyard Jesters. Rumpleteazer especially enjoyed winding up one person in particular. In fact, the angrier she could make him, so much the better!

It was on one such occasion that she came across him, cleaning up after one of her and Jerry's latest heists. They had stolen Bustopher Jones' serving spoon and dress shirt and hidden them at the bottom of Regent's Canal. And the unfortunate individual who had the task of fishing them out was none other than the tribe's protector and caretaker, Munkustrap.

What made the job particularly unpleasant was the fact that the water itself wasn't exactly clean. In fact, it was slick with filth, filled with rubbish and engine oil, and it was dangerous too! With canal boats chugging by and moored to the bank, swimming in the wrong place could prove fatal.

Rumpleteazer rarely got to view Munkustrap up close. Most of the time, it was from afar that she saw him, fleetingly as he went about his business, never giving her so much as a second glance, let alone the kind of attention he gave to other queens. Even from where she was, she could tell he was tall, with broad shoulders, a slender waist and muscular legs; Adonis-like, exuding status and power. His silver tabby fur matched the surrounding concrete, his stripes standing out like endless caverns. His tail was full and waving, barred with black and longer than the length of his body; longer than any other Jellicles' she knew.

She watched him scan the water from his vantage point on the bridge, thinking how the stripes on his face complimented his fine bone structure, his face set and his tufted ears facing forwards as he searched for the exact location of the spoon and shirt, probably wondering whether it was worth risking his life to get them at all.

Bustopher Jones put a great deal of money into the coffers, which funded food and resources for the infirmary. And the St. James Street Cat was threatening to withdraw every last penny should his possessions not be returned in pristine condition. So yes, it was worth risking his life to prevent the tribe from starving. But, there was a problem.

Although the spoon was exceptionally well polished, the water was as black as tar. Rumpleteazer could almost hear Munkustrap's brain ticking as the frown on his face deepened, signalling his decision. He would have to jump in. Which he did. Straight from the railings like a professional diver, disappearing into the water with barely a splash. He resurfaced, wiping water from his eyes and nose, apparently unfazed by the cold. He took a deep breath and dived down again.

She followed the ripples and air bubbles from the bank, and realised they were heading towards a large space between two canal boats. A plan came together like clockwork in her mind. It was too good an opportunity to miss!

He'd been under for more than a minute. The bubbles were growing larger and more numerous, and suddenly she spotted a ghostly figure rising to the surface. She dashed to the edge of the bank, getting there just as he broke the surface, and pounced. There was a splash and a stifled yell. Grabbing a pawful of wet fur, she locked her legs around his torso and fused his lips in a deep hard kiss. He was too busy trying not to drown to prevent the assault, so she managed to get a good feel of his throat before he threw her off.

"Wha- Teazer?! Bast almighty!"

She spat water at him, blinking through her drenched fur with a triumphant grin. "That'll teach ya to be more vigilant."

"You're lucky you didn't kill me, or vice versa! Hell, one of these days...!"

"Can't be too careful THESE DAYS."

He hissed at her. Then looked around, cursing. In his panic he'd dropped the spoon and shirt!

"Looking for these?" She held up the items he was looking for, and watched his eyebrows practically knit together with silent rage. The spats were heavily stained and the spoon was bent.

He snatched them out of her paw and tossed them onto the path. Then he pulled himself out after them and shook himself dry.

"Well? Aincha gonna help us out?"

He reached in and hauled her out by the scruff. "There," he grumbled, dumping the soggy Torbie onto the path. "Now scram, before I thash your behind so raw you won't be able to sit for a week!"

She thumbed her nose at him. "Oooh! Saucy!"

"Piss off!"
I

t took a lot to make Munkustrap angry. He didn't usually swear. It gave her such a thrill, wondering how far she could push him. And as she considered this, she felt a deliciously juicy sensation ignite in her loins at the thought of his firm palm on her behind.