Hold me closer

My ghost

Quinn and Nia were wandering through the stalls of food and mini games at the fair. Or, more accurately, Quinn was dragging Nia along to anything and everything she found exciting. Quinn had missed feeling like a kid sometimes, feeling like she had no worries. In her proffession, taking time to see the world through a different perspective was vital. She felt so lucky to have learned that at thirty seven. Most of her friends hadn't.

"Oh my god, there's a photo booth! I've always wanted to try one without my bitchy friends!" Quinn laguhed along with Nia's excitement. "Well, this time I guess you're stuck with me." Nia smiled and took Quinn's hand, which made her heart beat faster. "Oh, you're way better than them." Quinn turned her face to try to hide her flusterdness, but Nia just dragged her inside the photo booth.

It was a tight space, and when their faces were just inches appart, Quinn finally realized how much trouble she was in. Because her heart wouldn't stop beating out of her chest. "Here it goes! Look cute!" Nia exclaimed and the first photo was snapped. Quinn was just worried she might have looked like she'd seen a ghost.

"Hey, that's not how to look cute!" Nia held the photo roll up to Quinn's face, pointing at the first picture. "Oh don't even start baby, I know you find me irresistable." She laughed it off, and Nia shoved her playfully before they walked away towards their next adventure.

An hour later

It was early in the afternoon and the sun was at its peak. Quinn and Nia found a picknick bench to crash at, both of them exhausted from all of the food and people. Hank was sat on the table looking at Quinn with a wierd face. "He's got to be our greatest accomplishment so far." Nia reached out and patted him on the head. "Excuse me, I won him! He's my unicorn." Quinn laughed and played with Hank's tail. "I think he wants to be both of our unicorn." Nia rolled her eyes and took out her phone.

"Can I have your number?" Quinn was slightly thrown off, before she realized it was probably only in case of emergency. Which didn't feel like a total loss either. "That's a good idea." Quinn pulled up her contacts on her phone. She was so terrible with numbers that she couldn't even remember her own. "Who is she?" Quinn looked up and followed Nia's eyes to the picture of the woman in her wallet-case. She hesitated before pronouncing her name for the first time in probably four years.

"That's Eve." Quinn could almost feel her stomach turning. She really didn't like to talk about her. "Is she your sister?" Nia asked kindly, but it still felt like a punch to the face. "Cousin?" Nia kept presisting. "Girlfriend?" To Quinn, that word meant so much more than Nia could imagine. Little did she know, Quinn had wanted this woman to be her wife. "What did she do that made you not want to talk about her?" Quinn starred into the void. She couldn't keep thinking about this. She couldn't let the thoughts take over. She had to cut the line between her future and her past.

"She broke my heart." It took all of Quinn's strength to put her thoughts into words. She couldn't look at Nia, but could feel her kind eyes on her skin. "And then she died." And with that, Quinn walked away. She walked quickly, as quickly as she possibly could. She didn't care towards where, she just had to get away. Away from this world. She couldn't... She just...

Quinn collapsed on the ground in an alleyway between two buildings. Tears were streaming down her face. Her strategy of just avoiding the problem wasn't working at all and she could feel the consequences hitting her like a rock. She had tried talking about it once, but it hurt to the point that she was too scared to try again. Eve was like the ghost of her past. It was like her past was as dead as her. And the truth hurt, so Quinn burried her head in her knees and let the tears fall. Crying usually eventually made her feel better.

An hour later

Quinn was all cried out. She had no real way of handeling situations like that one because she avoided them like a plague. She was used to dealing with shit, but not this kind. Not when she felt like she couldn't even trust her own head. Quinn took a deep breath and checked her phone. Then she remembered, she didn't actually get the chance to give Nia her number.

She picked herself up off the ground and started walking back towards where she left Nia. Running away had felt like the only thing she could do, but then Quinn had to face the aftermath. Nearing the picknick bench, she caught the sight of hell. And hell was defined by Nia only a few feet away from Kris.

Nia came running when she spotted Quinn. She opened her mouth but Quinn spoke before she had the chance to. "What the fuck, Nia?" Nia gave her a baffled look. "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Nia yelled. Quinn tried to focus on calming down. She wasn't actually upset at Nia, just at the situation she found herself in. "You called Kris?!" "I was worried, okay! I didn't know what to do!" Nia seemed down, the complete opposite of an hour ago.

"I called my dad and he said she was listed as your emergency contact. I'm sorry." Quinn got a wakeup call when Nia apolegized. "No, no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just left you like that." Quinn sat down against a wall and Nia sat next to her. "I'm sorry if I said something wrong, I-" Quinn interrupted her. "No, listen. You did nothing wrong."

Quinn grabbed Nia's hand which made her turn her head. She could see that Nia wasn't convinced. The fact that she was so immenent on blaming herself took Quinn by surprise. She knew never to assume what was going on someone's life, but that was easy to forget. For Quinn, judging people was way easier than letting them in. But it was like somehow... Nia was changing that. They looked into each other's eyes for a long time until Nia turned away. She spoke silently, holding onto Quinn's hand. "Don't ever do that again."