Connected To Him (ManxMan) ✔️

Part 1: Chapter 30

Chapter 30: Cheater

Chris knew that something was wrong. He didn't know what had caused it or why it had occurred, but he could tell it was there. He'd first felt it when Ethan called him after karaoke. Chris hadn't expected the call. Ethan was out with his friends, there would probably be some drinking, and Chris knew Ethan would be so wrapped up in that, he wouldn't call. But as Aaron and some of the other guys ran down the empty beach, laughing like hyenas, Chris's phone suddenly began to ring. Chris pulled it up to his ear, a confused crease settling in between his brows.

"Ethan?"

"Hey Chris."

Ethan's words were a bit slurred, as if his tongue had trouble moving and formulating the sounds. At the sound of his voice, Chris started walking further away from the water. He sat down on the picnic blanket he had laid down earlier letting his feet stay in the sand.

"What's up? Why are you calling?" Chris asked, pale sand surrounding his toes.

"I don't know. I guess I just wanted to hear your voice."

A smile appears on Chris's face automatically. He thought he'd be used to Ethan saying things like that after months of dating but his heart beat still quickened in excitement.

"Chris, you like me right?"

The question shot through Chris's happy mood. It came out of nowhere and Chris was left confused.

"Of course."

"You don't regret dating me?"

Chris found himself growing upset. He knew that Ethan had insecurities, it was clear even when he first confessed that Ethan didn't understand why Chris wanted to be with him. SOmehow Ethan was blind to the radiance of his personality or how magnetic his appearance was. But Chris never expected to hear Ethan ask this. He was frustrated that after so long this was even a question. He thought he'd done plenty to show Ethan that he adored him. Chris's free hand fisted the blanket under him, wrinkling the soft material.

"I would never regret dating you Ethan." Chris stated. "You-you're one of the most amazing people I know and I still can't get enough of you or enough of being with you. Gosh I'd let you into my brain if I could so you would believe me. Where is this even coming from?"

"Nowhere I just- Thank you."

Chris thought that would end it. He thought he could go hang out with his friends that day and forget the situation. He thought he had ceased Ethan's worries. But it was far from simple. Ethan felt different when Chris saw him again. He smiled and laughed at all the right moments, and hugged Chris just as tightly as before, but the light in his eyes seemed just a bit dimmer. He wasn't fully there and Chris could feel it.

It was ironic, really, because in the weeks that followed, they were closer than ever. They spent as much time as they could together: before school, after school. Ethan came to his rugby practices and Chris would go to Ethan's house afterwards most days of the week. And every day during lunch, Chris and Ethan sat side by side so they could keep their interlocked hands out of sight. Ethan became intimately acquainted with Chris's schedule and Chris could tell within a few seconds what Ethan's mother was making for dinner. But even as they grew so familiar, Ethan himself seemed to pull away. An invisible wall had been built. Chris wanted to destroy it, but where did he even start? Chris was fighting a battle against an invisible enemy leaving him at a severe disadvantage.

So, stupidly, Chris didn't bring it up. Looking back there was no reason not to. What did he have to lose if Ethan told him 'no, I'm fine, there's nothing wrong'? Yet Chris never asked. Maybe if he had, he could have avoided what happened after.