The Foxhole Court Tumblr Part 2

The KxAxN AU where Kevin died

"remind me to tell you some time about the AU scenario where Neil & Andrew had to react to the news of Kevin's sudden death" Oh my gosh, please! That sounds devastating and I need it in my life

WHY YES THANK YOU FOR ASKING LET'S TALK ABOUT IT

((Here's the short******** version of it, anyway, because the long version with actual narrative & dialogue is on the other computer. y'know, the psycho computer that overheats so badly the clock actually slows down 30-60min so I never have a clue what time it is or why files aren't saving or why it's making strange noises at me. whatever, haunted systems = conversations for another day))

((******* added after the post was written: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT MY DEFINITION OF SHORT???))

Did you know that half of the actual canon drafts of Foxhole Court ended with Kevin's death? It was kind of a messy thing back then, with the Ravens & Foxes getting into a brawl on the court after the Ravens' loss, and security guards getting on the court with the referees to try and break things up, and Riko getting ahold of one of the guard's guns–and Riko turning that gun on Neil because fuck this mouthy kid and Kevin doing the one real definitive defiant moment of his life by stepping into the path of the bullet.

((The last two drafts had Riko turning on Kevin, and Neil stepping into the way, because that was "character growth", Neil moving into the path of destruction instead of shying away from it, he didn't run, whatever, IDK, boring boring boring.))

((Boring because he lived through it and there was a cheesy epilogue of the Foxes visiting Neil in the hospital and Andrew chowing down on the chocolates some fans had sent))

ANYWAY at one point, back when Kevin & Neil & Andrew had their obsessive threesome thing going on, I decided to figure out how Andrew & Neil would react to the death of Kevin. And here such a scenario seems a little shallow because few ((none??)) of you have seen the drafts where the three of them were together, where Neil was "the other woman" of their relationship, showing up when Andrew & Kevin couldn't commit to each other but couldn't let go of each other either.

((I am usually a firm believer in "Let's not dredge up old drafts once final drafts have been decided upon but in this case let's make an exception?? We'll just pretend we didn't delve into this because final!draft Kevin is straight af the boring prude))

((((says the aro-ace author))))

Kevin & Andrew had the hots for each other since the story transitioned from comic to book, and their obsession lasted up until the second to last draft. Andrew refused to commit or give ground to Kevin's advances because 1) as far as he was concerned, he was just a stand-in for Riko, another psycho athlete to tell Kevin what to do and maybe fuck him on the side, 2) obviously the only thing Kevin really wanted from him was what he could do on the court, and 3) previous trauma made it difficult for him to imagine that anything healthy could come of the attraction.

Kevin confronted Andrew at Eden's Twilight once–he'd come to PSU to get away from Riko, choosing to hide behind Wymack, but Andrew was the first thing in his life that made him want more than what he'd always had. He knew Andrew was interested; he just couldn't figure out why Andrew wouldn't give an inch and let Kevin in. I know I'm right, so why are you fighting me, what are you so afraid of))

ANYWAY

I really should go back to answering Asks in the morning, I think I was less meandering then. But I wanted to connect the death AU to what it stemmed from, because Kevin's death is unfortunate in general but it isn't tragic like it was the first time I wrote it out–when Andrew had wanted Kevin for over a year but feared wanting anything after what he'd been through, when Neil fell for Kevin but belatedly realized he might be a stand-in for the person Kevin couldn't have, when Andrew tried figuring out what Kevin saw in Neil and fell for Neil despite everything telling him stop stop stop bad idea — when Neil understood that they were all so broken that it was unfair to ask one person to be enough to put them back together again. When Neil confessed to Kevin I kissed him and Kevin was more exasperated than irritated because Neil got so easily what Andrew wouldn't give Kevin.

It was a tangled mess back then—–winning Andrew over bit by agonizing bit, working around his efforts to not be caught alone with them, offering every olive branch they could think of and trying to prove themselves sincere, trying to prove this wasn't about Exy, that Andrew wasn't a substitute for Riko.

Riko nearly destroying everything because he traded one night with Andrew for the safety of the team, Aaron & Andrew's ugly tragedy, Andrew getting so close to breaking that the only way out was breaking down, Kevin punching Riko on live TV for what he'd done, Bee being the first person who could hold Andrew up and hold him together, Neil & Kevin starting over from ground zero in winning Andrew's trust))

((What am I supposed to do with two lost causes, Bee?))

((I think you should let them in))

((You don't really think so.))

((She hesitated, testing the lines, wondering how lines could possibly exist in a situation like this, and erred on the side of love. If I had any reason to doubt them, I would tell you. You know I would.))

They were all so obsessed with each other back then. They were nothing without each other, incomplete without the three of them.

So in true Nora fashion, I took one away to see what happened.

What happened was that Neil & Andrew had a fierce fucking falling out, because Andrew refused to deal with the concept of loss, much less the reality of it, and Neil couldn't handle losing someone else who was so important to him. They couldn't face reality so they turned on each other instead, with ugly words and angry hands and accusations that would take years to finally smooth away. Neil tried to get on the court because that was what Kevin could want, and Andrew accused him of being the same as Kevin was, more interested in a game than the people involved.

And Neil just–disappeared. He took his contacts and his know-how and he left without warning/

They couldn't fix this thing or face this thing together, so it made sense to him for them to deal with it apart. But Andrew, who'd never really lost anyone who'd mattered, lost Kevin & Neil in quick succession, and he imploded. Wymack & Abby & Betsy did their damnedest to keep him on an even keel but Andrew went full steam ahead into self-destructive mode. Violence and drugs and drinking and it was a spiral down down down down down. The Foxes searched high and low for any sign of Neil but of course they couldn't find him, because they didn't have the right contacts in the right circles and because Neil had done this too many times before to be caught by anyone less that the best.

Neil was gone for the better part of a year, but just when Andrew hit that edge of pull back or fall forever, Neil finally returned.

And they had to face it at long last–what they were together with Kevin, what they were without him, what they'd be if they lost each other for good. Andrew swore up and down that if Neil ever left him again he would hunt him down and kill him, and Neil knew if he ever left again he'd have to kill himself because he could barely survive a life without one of them. Living without both wasn't worth the struggle. It was an ugly, awful reunion, because those two are the least capable people in the world at vocalizing their needs and emotions, but for once they both had to tell the truth before they lost each other for good.

They ended up together, but they were still broken, and it was years, and years, and years before they were even halfway to fixed.