It's 3 am and I'm still awake.
My chest is aching, I'm going to break.
I sit here and think of the girls from my school.
They're laughing and smiling,
it's all good, they're all cool.
They're all skinny with white shiny teeth,
I know I'll never compete.
And while during the day I am happy and glad,
it's 3 am, I just want to feel sad.
And while some may say I shouldn't feel bad,
because I have a semi-pretty face and I'm a medium in waist.
Yet my chin sticks out too far and my lips are too small,
who'll want a girl like that?
So please,
let me just sit here and weep,
in my now wet with tears sheets.
And left me think of the girls from my school,
the ones slim legs and pretty straight hair.
If you're one of these girls please tell me your ways,
how you can walk around without a care in the world.
Share with me your tricks,
on how you talk to guys.
And...if you don't mind...
do you have insecurities too?
Are they on the way your body looks,
or how ugly you think you laugh.
Is it your personality?
Do feel you drive guys away?
Please tell me,
I need to know if the girls I constantly compare myself to,
compare themselves too.
Sincerely,
a girl who had too much to change; yet learns to love herself in every way with each coming day.
---
this was more personal. i wrote this in april 2020 (it's october 2020). but i added the sincerely part just now because throughout quarantine i have learned to accept the way i am and love myself. of course, i still had some off days but i bounce back. and i keep learning how to love myself more.
if you don't love yourself, that's okay. i don't know your life and what you may struggle with so i can't tell you to love yourself. but i hope you learn to.
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De TodoTW: this book will contain pieces of abuse, alcoholism, su*cide, weapons, rape, cutting, depression, anxiety, and eating disorders i include these topics because i prefer to write pieces that have deep meaning and connection to current issues going...
