Please Remember Me Like This

I'm Unapologetically Free

Please Remember Me Like This

Chapter 8: "I'm Unapologetically Free"

Was it just him, or was Aeric acting a little... weird? There seemed to be an invisible wall, a slight distance growing, an itch he couldn't scratch. When it came to magic , his responses were quick, aloof, distant, even, and then he'd quickly try to change the subject to something else, like prom campaigning and acceptance letters.

Ian didn't get it. Aeric usually loved seeing all the new spells he learned. So what was with him now? Didn't they promise each other that they would communicate more? He couldn't be... jealous, could he? Ian still went to home games, still went to Aeric's house most weekends so they could study—so what if he dropped his extracurricular clubs? It wasn't like he ditched class for magic, when there was a whole semester they still had to get through!

"What's up with you?" he dared to ask, a few weeks after he learned how to astral project once they had some alone time at his place. Aeric really didn't act as excited about that as he should have, and that bugged Ian, just a bit. Sure, it was on him for not saying anything about dropping out, but he thought he'd sent a text! He didn't mean to space out; surely his boyfriend knew this.

"What's up with what?" Aeric shrugged, putting his arm behind his head with a sigh.

"You know... stuff." Ian sighed, too, resting a hand on Aeric's bare chest before cuddling up a little closer. Empty house, studying done... Sure, they could have some fun, but even then, Aeric looked somewhat out of it. "Magic? You don't seem to like it anymore."

"I do like it," Aeric assured, pulling him in closer. "I love seeing all the new things you can do, and it's so impressive. But now it seems like you've been advancing so much and I'm just... here. I'm just supporting when you do something new and not learning with you, when now you have this group to fall back on."

So that was it. It was a slight bout of jealousy. Ian had this new group to learn magic with, and Aeric felt like he was being left out to the wayside. "Trust me, babe, I want to tell you everything," he said, because he did. He wanted to bring Aeric in on meetings and let him know that this amazing group taught him things about magic not even he or Barley ever considered. "I wish I could tell you how great everyone is, how there's this one awesome girl who just graduated Willowdale and is giving me loads of advice, or just how much Victoriana knows, or how I'm pretty much one of the best wizards there!"

Well, it wasn't like he signed a confidentiality agreement or anything, but something about a group called the Order of the Gifted kind of screamed exclusivity. Not to mention, Victoriana didn't take too kindly to those who were "Giftless," as she liked to call them. Ian thought that term might be too extreme, given how few wizards were actually out there, but given the Gift was hereditary... he could understand why she believed it. He wondered if she'd ever been persecuted for magic, and that was why they had to be so secretive, with new locations every week, and no real way to contact her outside of magic.

"Then why don't you?" Aeric asked, reaching up with his free hand to brush Ian's hair back. "Obviously you want to tell me about it—not like I have anyone else to tell."

Ian bit his lip, contemplating. Oh, did he want to tell Aeric, completely. He wanted to recount every meeting, wanted him to see what he did, to experience it all. But Aeric unfortunately wouldn't get it. He'd appreciate all the magic, sure, but he wouldn't feel the surge of pride whenever anyone performed a new, complicated spell, knowing how much work and Heart's Fire that went into it. He wouldn't know what he felt (though, to be fair, an empathy spell might be something to think about writing in the near future, and he hoped to not forget this thought so he could write it down somewhere). "You're right—I really want to," he said, nuzzling his cheek into Aeric's palm. "But that wouldn't be fair to the rest of the group. You can trust that what we're doing is good, though, right? That we're learning so much to better the world we inhabit?"