Drowning In Your Eyes - Clexa One Shot

Drowning In Your Eyes

"Lex."

Anya snapped her fingers inches in front of her best friend's face in a last attempt to retrieve her from her continuous daydreaming. She should have known better than to take Lexa to Lincoln's bar downtown, which was the number one hangout spot for most undergraduates in their teacher training program. Not only did that include their shunned exes Costia and Raven, it also implied that Lexa would be staring at the bar all night long, unable to take her eyes off the one blonde girl she really shouldn't have a soft spot for.

"Jesus, could you want her more?" Anya asked irritably once the person in front of her had more or less returned to earth. The question wasn't meant to be answered, but Lexa shook her head anyhow.

"Seriously, look at her. I don't understand how you can just ignore her when she's obviously the prettiest girl in town." With a deep sigh, Lexa took a sip from her largely untouched drink, seemingly only just remembering it was there.

"You think she's the prettiest girl in town, Lex, therefore it's not an established reality. In fact, I think there are more guys who have a thing for you than for her. Pretty ludicrous how the world works, if you think about it."

Lexa scrunched her nose in disgust – if ever you wanted her attention, all you needed to do was to mention a boy. As a sports teacher, Lexa could very well stand her ground between the guys and mostly even preferred befriending them over friendships with girls, because she claimed the latter were "unnecessarily complicated". Yet when it came to relationships, even thinking about the other gender in that way was simply too much for her to handle. "Isn't it clear for them that I'm not interested?"

One corner of Anya's mouth curled up in an amused smirk, which she tried to repress since she didn't want to make too much fun of the irony in that sentence. Still, she couldn't resist the urge to remark: "Yeah, you're to speak."

Many times, Anya had suggested Lexa would try to move on, to close the chapter Clarke Griffin and find herself a girl that wasn't as straight as one could be. Maybe it was indeed love that made it impossible for Lexa to follow this advice. Yet Anya preferred to blame her best friend's stubbornness for the fact that she'd been crushing on the same unattainable girl for over two years. In every tiny pointless thing, Lexa seemed to recognize a sign of Clarke's potentially non-straight sexuality – such as the way she walked, or how she always kept her nails short, or that she swore a remarkable lot for an ostensibly innocent girl like her. Opposing signs, like seeing her kissing a boy and attending class in his sweatshirt the next day, Lexa masterfully ignored.

"Okay, I have an idea." Anya leaned closer over the table and made sure to block Lexa's view on the bar so that she would keep her thoughts with the conversation this time. "I know you don't want to tell her about your feelings, but what if we somehow made her find out you have a thing for her?"

Lexa raised her brow in surprise for one split second, then her expression returned to her skeptical, somewhat bitter self she always tended to be whenever she didn't catch sight of Clarke. "I always suspected your aim was to destroy my life, Ahn. Now I know for sure."

Anya rolled her eyes. "Come on, Lex, you're wasting your time. College has to be the best time of your life, you know? As it seems Clarke agrees with that, so why would you keep holding your feelings to yourself hoping she might return them one day when you obviously know that's never going to happen?"

"Because I know it's never going to happen." As her drink didn't seem to satisfy her, Lexa switched to chewing on her straw in a frustrated manner. "I know my hopes will be crushed forever and I don't want that to happen because they're basically all that's keeping me going. I'm not one for the party life, you know that, I wouldn't enjoy hooking up with other girls while in fact all I really want is to be with her."