The Maroon Guitar

Gilbert

"Psst." A hot breath of air was tickling my nose and cheeks, but I didn't open my eyes.
I had this great dream that the devil who was buying Marvin turned up and decided he hated it, and I got to keep it.
"Caroline." It was Patrick, that much was for sure. "Caroline!"
"Go away Patrick, god!" I swatted in what I hoped was the general vicinity of his face and turned over onto my side. My face was met with a soft, warm, and furry pillow. It was Gilbert the cat.
"Caroline get out of bed." But Gilbert was so snuggly! "Caroline." And Patrick's voice was so annoying, maybe if I just-
"Ouch! Did you just kick me?"
"Yes karma is a ruthless bitch now leave me and Gilbert to our peaceful sleep." And then someting terrible happened.
"Come here Gilly." Patrick's hands wrapped around my precious baby's body and lifted him up into the air. "You'll never see this fat thing again unless you get up. Now." I opened my eyes and have my brother a dark look.
"Fine."
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"So where was the fire anyway?" I asked Patrick through a large mouthful of Corn Flakes. Mums eyes flickered from the bowl and back to me, and she gave me a dark look.
Mum's a raw foods addict. She's completely obsessed with healthy crap and apparently "corn flakes are nothing but sugar. Sugar and starch dear, you'll have pimples the size of Gilbert if you don't watch it." I loved her for it, I really did, but holy crap it was annoying sometimes. Not to say that I didn't appreciate it.
Mum made breads and cakes and pastries and basically everything apart from dairy, flour and baking ingredients, pastas and rice and other stuff like that was grown in our garden. Mum got honey from the markets and things like apples which didn't grow in our garden. And she's pesketarian so we are loads of seafood which mums friend "Golly" caught fishing. We were pretty healthy.
"Nowhere."
"So why did you insist on me getting out of bed?" It was about eight when Patrick woke me up.
"Because we're going out." After drinking the milk from my bowl I washed it up a d turned to face Patrick, who was munching on an apple.
"Where to?"
"Lots of different places."
"Care to elaborate?" I raised my left eyebrow at him.
"We're going shopping." That was one sentence I meet thought I'd hear my brother say; ever.
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"When you said "shopping", I thought you meant shopping as in, at-the-shops-shopping."
"Why would you think that? I'm a grown man, I don't shop, I buy."
"You're twenty four living in your parents place and what's the difference?" He killed the engine to uncle Joe's beautiful old Datsun 260 and stepped out.
"Shopping is for chicks. You walk in and giggle and look at random crap. A man walks in, buys what he wants and leaves." I decided he wasn't going to live this one down.
"You know you've for one thing going for you if marine biology fails." I said to Patrick as he knocked on the front door.
"And what would that be?"
"You're so friggin stubborn the courts would let you have your way just to shut you up."
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"Goodbye Marvin." I sighed dramatically, wiping a false tear from my eye.
"Don't pull that crap on me, no matter how many times you pull out the waterworks you won't get your way." I glared at Shelley and hugged Marvin closer.
"Meanie." She just rolled her eyes. "Bully. Witch. Rude. Unjust." She still hasn't batted an eyelid, so it was time to pull out the big guns.
"Bitch."
"Hawww!" Shelley gasped, and leaped forward, her fingers finding my stomach and, well, there's only or way to say this; tickling the crap out of me.
"No! Stop! Stop! I'm sorry I swear!"
The loud sound of someone forcedly clearig their throat interrupted our bonding session.
"Ahem." We both turned to face the owner of said loud-throat-clearing.
"Ah! Mister Clifford!"