ECHOES OF THE WIND : Jacob & Renesmee

24.NEVER SAW THIS COMING (PART2)

RENESMEE

Jacob,

It's funny how someone who was a stranger....... has suddenly became so important to me......Suddenly someone I feel relief with. Someone that empowers me, supports and encourages me.

Yes, Jacob, Chris is someone I can call 'my comfort zone!'. Maybe because I deeply need to talk to someone who understands me,who lives in my world or something similar. Someone who doesn't see me as an alien when I talk about my hope's, insights, and dreams.

If someone asks me; what hurts me the most? I would reply 'my own expectations'.

But everyone comes with a purpose into one's life. Someone comes into your life the test you, some to teach you, some to use you and some to bring out the very best in you. And it's extremely hard to find that someone, Jake. But I know when we actually find them; you just feel; very alive! And it's Chris who has brought me back to life. "The end" is often the beginning. I have regained the inner peace and it's a good feeling to know that you have a strong support. A strong wall you can lie against when you are about to fall. A caring, kind shoulder to put your head on.....

There were times I was insecure, afraid, locked up...and I lost my trust in people; when you left me and they were extremely hard times. He pulled me out, to repair me and build me back to who I used to be actually; once. Now; it doesn't matter who hurts me, who brakes me. What matters is who made me smile again. You know, walking alone isn't a difficult thing......but when someone special walks with you, journey becomes easy.

Chri's and I. Huh! Thinks alike, read each other's mind, sometime we irritate each other a bit.....But once in a while, when I close my eyes I realize how lucky I am to have a best friend like him; yet again and share my life with him. And I truly never experienced this before.

I will love you, Jacob. I will love you for all the way that you were; all the way you have ever been and all the way you'll be~~ I hope. But there is something that has changed and I am unsure about.

~Renesmee

I pursed my lips as I glanced at the line'But there is something that has changed and I am unsure about.' My breathing slowed down deep and even as my eyes force out a drop of tear that rolls down my cheeks. With all the smiles you have brought me, Jacob. I never thought you would ever cause me so much pain. Soon giving up the thought, I turned over some more pages.....

Jacob,

It's been 2 months and some days; I lost the count. And I am standing on the line of giving up and yet just seeing how much more I can take. Because i don't want to give up, not just yet, Jacob.

Today, I did something I'm unsure of. Today, Chris drove me to his favorite place -a stream or really more of a river....

We started down gravel road and I could hear the stones crushing beneath our tires. After, another mile; he stopped the car and I gazed out the window where I could see nothing but grass and trees. There were yellow wildflowers across the landscape and the breeze was pretty warm. We walked quite for most of the time. The surrounding was so quiet. Peaceful. As I could stay there; forever. And then a few minutes later, emerging from the woods we reached a view that was wonderous to behold. Under the blue and sunlit sky, the stream teemed with life.