Untold ✔

3

"Tzuyu-ah." I looked at Jihyo unnie who called me. We're currently eating dinner.

"Ne?" I asked after swallowing the food I ate. She heaved a deep breath.

"The boys wanted us to celebrate their 7th anniversary after their concert tomorrow." She slowly says. I can feel the unnies watching me now, waiting for me to show different kinds of emotion because of what Jihyo unnie said.

"They also asked if you can also go with us, you know, they haven't talked to you for almost four years now." She says again. "If that's okay with you."

The boys, the oppas. I've missed talking to them, hanging out with them, when they teach me how to speak Korean skillfully, when they teach me how to cook this and that food, I missed everything that I chose to leave behind.

I don't know anything I can do any thing at that time, I don't know anymore. All I could think about is that.

Silence surrounded us as the unnies waited for my answer. Even if I wanted to, my pride tells me that I shouldn't.

I'm not ready to see him, I'm not ready at all. I will never be ready as it was my fault. I'm the one to blame.

I slowly shake my head as an answer. The unnies sighed, they kept their hopes up that I will say yes, I know that. And I'm sorry about that.

"Mianhae." I whispered. Enough for them all to hear. "Gwaenchanha, don't worry." Jihyo unnie replies. "The boys will understand this, don't worry."

"You've been running away for almost four years now, Tzuyu." Jeongyeon unnie says. "It won't benefit you something good."

I know unnie, I know. "Let me rephrase that, it will never benefit you something good." She says again. "Jeong." Nayeon unnie warns her through her voice. Jeongyeon unnie doesn't hate me. She hates me because I chose to sacrifice my own happiness. She hates me for making such a really bad decision that I know will affect each one of them when she overheard my conversation with PD-nim talking about it. 

"Will you be okay here tomorrow? We're going there after our schedule." Nayeon unnie asks, I nodded my head. 

"Okay, that's settled then." Momo unnie immediately says. Dahyun unnie, Chaengie, and I washed the dishes right after we ate. The two continued to ask me if I will be really okay because I'm sure, they'll stay there for the night and their other manager will send them to Inkigayo where our last performance will happen. 

As I expected, it happened. After the unnies arrived, we started practicing right away. "Tzuyu." Jeongyeon unnie calls. "Ne?"

"The boys wanted to celebrate your birthday with them, if that's okay with you." Nayeon unnie answers. I was stunned as I looked at her. "Don't force yourself just to make them--us happy. We'll still support you but this is the last time." Sana unnie reminds. "We thought that we can help you fix what you broke between you and him, so you guys could finally.."

"Be fine with each other, that's all.' Jeongyeon unnie continues. 

How am I supposed to fix it when I already know that myself, and him, of course, won't give any chance to fix it? I'm already fine with it. I don't care if spend my entire life regretting letting him go, I don't care. At least he's happy now, that's all I need. 

I'm the one to blame for everything that I caused. 

But, I also wanted to be fine with the boys. I also wanted to hang out with them like how the unnies does. I also wanted to tell them I'm sorry as it also affected them. "C-Could you guys give me time?" I asked. 

Their eyes lit up as their lips forms into a smile. Sana unnie suddenly squeals and pulled Chaeyoung for a hug, probably because of what I said. "Sure, sure. You have a lot of time." Jihyo unnie answers, I nodded my head as a reply.