MARIBAT Incorrect Quotes, Ideas, Headcanons and A Pinch Of Crack-ships/ideas

The Crazy Things the League of Assassins Taught Damian (Crack Headcanon)

This is not Maribat, just DC.

~

-One of my favorite ideas is that the league taught Damian the weirdest shit

1. how to fight while playing school yard games

2. how to manipulate his voice to sound like a completely different person

3. how to fight in heels

"Mother, why am I wearing these monstrosities?"

"Damian, you need to be prepared for anything that comes your way if you are to become the Demon's Head."

"I doubt Grandfather new how to fight in th-"

Ra's Al Ghul walks into the corridor, gracefully in some Louis Vuittons.

"Fine."

"Great. On my mark... BEGIN!"

~
Later, with a 16 year old Damian

The Batfam starring in awe at Damian, who was undercover as Danielle on a mission, who just won a bar fight in heels.

"Why are you staring, you all knew I was execptional in all areas, this should not be a surprise."

"You just won a bar fight, while wearing 5 INCH HEELS, demon spawn. That should not be possible." 

"Jay's right, little D, how did you learn to do that?"

"Mother made sure to prepare me for any adversity. Heels were one of them."

"At least we know Talia did something right."

4. How to apply make up like a fucking boss,

"Hey Dami, I want to tell you some thing, it's really improtant." Normally Damian would have responded with a witty quip but the uncharacteristic seriousness in his boyfriends voice sobered him.

"What is it, habibi?"

Already feeling selfconcious of himself, "I-I, I, um, never mind it's not important." he whispered, hugging himself.

"Anything regarding you is important, Jonathan. You can tell my if you want, but you don't have to. I'll never force you to do anything." said the young Wayne, with rare softness in his voice, a tone saved mainly for Jon.

"I was, um, experimenting, with stuff and I realized I like to, um, to wear, makeuppleasedonthatemeandbreakupwith." he rushed.

"Habibi, I would never imagine breaking up with you of such a trival thing, hell, I don't see myself breaking up with you at all." he reasures.

"It doesn't bother you? That I like makeup?" no matter how indestucable the boy of steel may be, the opinion of his boyfriend could shatter him like a thin piece of glass falling on the ground.

"Of course not, habibi, I love you regardless of your prefences."

"Thank you, Dami, I love you too." the Kansas boy looks down at his boyfriend with a smile that rivals the sun that impowers him.

"So would you like me to do your makeup, Habibi?"

"I- what? You know how to apply make up?" he said looking both amazed and flabbergasted.

"Of course, I do. I am a trained warrior assassin, I can do things average plebiens could only dream of." he proclaimed smugly, though it was obvious to Jon he was greatly pleased that he had impressed him.

"Of course you can, I shouldn't be surprised by now." he praised, amused at the shorter's blush from his complement.

Two shopping trips and one makeover later

"Dami, this is- you're a makeup master!"
the younger admired his new look in his bathroom mirror.

"I am, and, I'm not trying to be biased, you look absolutly stunning, Jonathan." he said, gently taking the boy in question by his chin to look him in the eye.

Flustered, Jon responded, "I- thank you, you look pretty too, I MEAN, handsome- er, beautiful? Wait, no, um glorious?"

He simply smiled at his beloved's nervous antics, before placating his nerves with a soft kiss.

And that was my TedTalk, good bye.