𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐇𝐀'𝐒 𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆

II

─ ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ─

most people at Camp Schlong would say there had not been a more sad day than the day that should not be spoken of as it brung so much sadness to everyone. but, back then they had not been around for Alpha Schlong's schlong's funeral. there was a huge crowd around the tent of Alpha Schlong with tears in their eyes in the extremely early hours of the morning.

“ ahem! ” Alpha Schlong cleared her throat into the microphone. one of her feet popped out the tent before finally her whole self arrived. the people gasped at her lack of schlong, mutters being pulled by the wind to her ears. tears pricked her eyes at the insulting comments and she took a moment to properly breathe. “ excuse me! I'm here to make a speech? ”

“ speech! speech! speech! speech! ” cheers flooded through the whole camp. Alpha Schlong's mouth twitched into a small smile before falling back into an unwelcoming frown.

“ due to our recent loss of my schlong, I hereby declare that your new temporary ruler is to be Beta Schlong. please understand the problem is currently being fixed, and I hope you all have your invitations to the funeral later this afternoon. good day! ” with her last words, she spun round to make her small cape twist around her body and stepped back into the tent.

in front of the audience appeared a slightly taller figure, Beta Schlong. her schlong was the second largest so it made sense for her to become to substitute but people still shouted an insult or two. one of the guards stepped forward to calm them, Beta Schlong just rolling her eyes at the insignificant rowdy idiots.

“ no need to act like buffoons, you're adults. now, meeting over. return to whatever you were doing before. ” everybody happily flooded out of the area, probably going back to sleep as the sun had not even risen yet.

Beta Schlong, however, decided to face Alpha Schlong first of all. she stepped inside the tent and immediately gaped at the spacious inside. a small barbeque, two decently clean couches and a wobbly table with a fishbowl precariously balanced atop it were on one side of the place, a few sleeping bags and blankets scattered in the other half. Beta Schlong approached the fishbowl first.

“ that's my daughter's fish, Pescado. why is it in here?" Beta Schlong angrily questioned Alpha Schlong. they had a heated moment of silence where they simply glared at one another.

“ Mal left Pescado with Alpha Ginger who happened to leave them in this tent last night. ” Alpha Schlong pointed at an awkward lump in a blue sleeping bag. “ there's Alpha Ginger, don't ask me about it. ”

Beta Schlong quickly brushed off the topic but lifted the bowl to take it back home. the two Schlong's made aggressive eye contact before the beta exited the tent.

“ stupid. ” Alpha Schlong growled once she had definitely left.

“ jealousy isn't a nice look. ” Alpha Ginger chuckled, awoken by the angry tension in the room. “ now, let's get you ready for the funeral service. ”

___

if lots of people had gathered at the Alpha Schlong versus Alpha Ginger fight, this surely had to be everyone. hundreds of alphas, betas, omegas and, of course, the one fish stood in rows as sad music played in the background. Alpha Schlong's plaque for longest schlong was hung on the wall of the Great Hall in front of the whole ceremony. they all wore their fanciest clothes, suited out in black. a few photos of the schlong and it's rewards were at the front. Alpha Schlong looked so happy in each photograph, but now her head was bowed to hide the hot tears dripping down her cheeks.

the funeral lasted about an hour, each painstaking minute making more people emotional about the loss they were facing. each person went through the five stages of grief at least 10 times during it all.

___

tissues were still being passed out a good 20 minutes after the end, sniffles louder than most people's talking. Mal held Pescado, who Beta Schlong had returned to her, close to her chest and they stayed like that for a bit until Beta Schlong told Mal it was time to go.

Alpha Schlong was in the midst of the chaos of crying, itching her shoulder awkwardly.

“..you good? ” the Alpha Male whispered to the crying alpha. it was obvious that Alpha Schlong was nowhere near good but Alpha Ginger also approached and a quick sentimental hug was shared between them all. empty tissue packets were littered on the floor. as the workers were cleaning up it all, Alpha Schlong took a moment alone with teh detached schlong.

“ we're gonna be alright.. ” she murmured through voice cracks from pure emotion. her hand instinctively reached out and stroked the schlong, one single tear dropping onto the skin and cinematically running down the side of it.

a comforting hand was placed on her shoulder, Beta Schlong stood there with empathetic eyes.

“ I promise you I'll do anything I can to help restore everything to normal, whether it means my life or one penny. ” it was just the thing to finally crack the last layer of Alpha Schlong who began to break down on the side of her old schlong. Beta Schlong stayed beside her as Alpha Schlong cried her heart out till dusk.

___

“ you know, this isn't all our fault. ” Alpha Ginger suddenly came out with. she and the Alpha Male had taken a short break from their race home to drink coffee. “ we were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. ”

“ same thing could be said about murder, but it isn't. this is technically our fault so we'll make it right. an eye for an eye. ”

“ no way am I cutting off my schlong! it was just reaching records! ” Alpha Ginger yelled before storming off with her cup. the Alpha Male sighed, slumping more into her seat as she watched all light leave Camp Schlong.

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