Momentary Chronicles

𝒜 𝑀𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓇𝒶𝒷𝓁𝑒 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝑅𝑒𝓂𝑒𝓂𝒷𝑒𝓇

   On 16 March 2020, Prime Minister Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin made an official speech and officially promulgated the movement control order all over the country. When I first heard about this, I jumped in joy. As a student, it is a dream come true especially with the long holiday which never happened in my school year. At that time, my brain started to imagine all the fun that I would do during the lockdown which consists of being a couch potato and forget about all the homework given by the teachers and live my life to its fullest. However, my dream has been crushed into dust after one month of joy. It is an online class. I groaned in annoyance.

At first, I was consistent with all the online classes and the assignment but my focus was gone once I started to catch up on my anime series. The assignment kept piling up and my name even got mentioned in parents' and teachers' chat groups. My mother was furious as she read about it and I got an earful of her scolding. After I got scolded, I always got my homework done on time but it never lasted and my focus was driven away again. I thought the MCO was the best thing that ever happened in my life, but I was wrong. It is hell on earth for me because of my parent's scolding and fighting. My days are always full of stress and sadness. I even thought about running away from home but I could not. Until one day, an unexpected event happens.

On that night, the rain was pouring heavily and you can feel the chills on your bones. I started to cry and hoped that God would take my life away. I just cannot endure it anymore with my parents fighting and all the stress from the online class. "Oh, God! Please take me away " said with tears running down my face. After an hour of crying, I fell asleep. "Anna". In my sleep, I could hear someone was calling my name. The voice that calls me as soft as silk and makes me sleep more. Then, I feel like there was a hand caressing my face. I immediately opened my eyes to see the person who touched my face. My eyes became bulged as I saw the owner. It is my grandmother! My eyes became teared up and I hugged her for the first time in a while. "I miss you grandma!" I said with my series of hiccups. She hugged me and slowly rubbed my back." I heard that your life is hard these days. Is it them fighting again?" she asked. I nodded eagerly.

My grandmother knew about my little family problems because whenever I stress or sad I will come to find her. Oh, how much I miss our little tea time! Where we will share all our secrets just in between two of us. Her caring demeanor not only makes me close to her but also the other people too. In other words, she likes an angel that has gone down on earth to make the world happier and she did. My fifteen years of life were blessed but after she left when I was 16 years old, my life quickly went down the hill. I live my days like a shell of a person. I miss her cooking, her smiles, and warmth. But now, I could not believe my eyes as I saw her in front of me healthy and well. I hug her tight and kept on saying that I missed her as she chuckled at my remarks.

"Anna, I also miss you but you cannot ask for death just because of this" she looked at me with pleading eyes. "But grandma, I could not take it anymore. With all things that happened, it just drove me insane, and I'm tired from faking my happiness in front of my parents". As I said, I quickly looked down my lap. My hand played with the hem of my nightdress. She held my face gently and made me look in her eyes. "Sweetie, sometimes life is hard but that is what it means to be alive and can make you much stronger". The way she said it like it is easy without her beside me. I gripped the hem of my nightdress while trying to hold on to the anger. "But you are not here with me! You didn't know how it feels to be alone without a shoulder to cry on" I tried to catch my breath before I started to talk again. " Why could I just not be with you! Please take me with you grandma!" I yell.

After hearing my words, my grandmother's face changed. I immediately felt bad and said that I was sorry. The atmosphere became silent. "You love me right?" she asked gently. "Yes. why?" I became curious. "Please be strong for me? I do not want to let you let go of your dreams. Remember when you first told me that you want to become a doctor so you can help others? I want you to achieve it. All you need to do is just put your trust in God and He will show you the right path." she smiled sadly. "So, you do not want to bring me along?" my voice quivered. "I cannot do that my dear. You have a bright future". I quickly held her hand and mouthed the word please to her. She shakes her head and kisses my forehead. "Now, go to sleep." she tucked me into the bed. "Are you going to go?" my tears run down my face. She does not answer the question and just smiles sweetly at me. She held my face again and kissed my forehead. Somehow, I felt like she was saying goodbye. "Please hold on my sweet Anna". Her voice became slower as I slowly shut my eyelid.

Years have passed since that night, it is truly a remarkable night for me. The morning after, I tried to call her but she was not there anymore. I spent hours crying for her. I kept on questioning what the harm is with bringing me along with her.day by day, her words kept on ringing in my head. After quite some time, I finally understood the meaning of it. Then, everything started to change. I'm no longer procrastinating but I started to spend my days studying and helping around the house and I attended all the online classes without fail. Of course, the thing that happened between my parents did not stop but the fight no longer frequently happened. I finally accepted myself and invested in myself. In the end, my grandmother knows the best for me. Now, my body is adorned with a lab coat and a stethoscope on my neck. "Thank you for saving me, grandma.". I smile with one tear escaping my right eye.