(Unknown)

Chapter 10

        I finished my shift at work and went home, once again wanting to hide in my bedroom. After the day I’d had, I needed rest and relaxation. I planned the perfect night in for myself, very movie-like. 

       The minute I got home, I started running a hot bath for myself, adding epsom salts and everything nice, I thought I deserved it. I found my favourite baggy shirt that I loved to sleep in, a pair of fuzzy socks, and my warmest sweatpants. Ready for when I was done, I sat in the bath and read a book on Mary, Queen of Scots, not allowing my mind to stray to other matters. 

          Once I had finished in my bath and gotten into my pyjamas, I grabbed all of my superhero movies, made sure I had plenty of popcorn to eat in my room and grabbed a tall glass of water. Grateful that I had a television and DVD player in my bedroom, I popped in the first Iron Man movie and settled myself into bed. I was as comfortable as I could be, tucked in between my soft mattress and cozy duvet, my back leaning against my plushy blue pillow and watching one of my favourite Marvel movies, but my attention began to sway from the adventures of Tony Stark.

         I was barely halfway through my movie when I realized that leaving myself alone with my thoughts had probably not been the best idea since those were the things that I had wanted to avoid. The memories of earlier on began to push to the forefront of my mind, the images swimming in front of me, forcing me to think about what I had learned and what I wanted to do about it all. 

         The decisions that I needed to make overwhelmed me a bit, I felt like I needed to stop time in order to be able to sort out all of my answers. What did I want to do about Carter, how would I act towards him now? Should I just try to ignore him until graduation? What about the rest of that group, Tanner, Zeke and Nath? Should I apologize? Then there was Oliver, and he was an entire issue on his own. 

         When it came to Oliver the biggest question was what if he liked me and wanted to start again from where we had last ended? I didn’t like him anymore the way that he seemed to want me to, that spell had been broken when I’d had my meltdown at the library, and I wasn’t sure if I could get it back, at least not anytime very soon. I did like him, he had shown several times now that he was a really nice guy and now I knew more about him than I had ever imagined I would, and I could see him as being a good friend.  I wanted to keep talking to him, I couldn’t even imagine not speaking to him again, he was so much like me sometimes, being different over text messaging than he was in person. He seemed to be almost afraid to be himself in person, he probably thought that it would ruin his “jock” image and change his position in the high school food chain. I thought the real him was amazing and funny and nice, enough to be a friend to me. I just wanted sure how he would react to being friend-zoned, I wasn’t even sure if I was right in assuming that he liked me in that way. 

         Another item to think about was my poor friends, I had nearly forgotten about informing them on what was going on. They didn’t know anything about Carter being the real reason that I had been basically heartbroken and they didn’t know that Carter had confessed it all to me, and more importantly, they didn’t know that they were now mad at the wrong boy. The poor girls, I didn’t mean to leave them out of something so big in my life. I had to remind myself to recount the story in full when I met up with them at the library that Sunday. They were probably so confused, I actually felt a little guilty for not keeping them updated like how I usually would have in any other situation. 

        I had thought about so much in one day, I could literally feel a headache coming on. I reawakened myself from my thoughts and checked where I had come to in the movie. I was near the end, I had spent so much time wrapped in my own thoughts, I didn’t even notice the length of time that had passed.