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Thirty-second chapter

Liz's POV:

One week have passed since Amanda left. Since I have her robe, I sleep with it every night. Since she was gone, I can only fall asleep on the couch and imagine she's here. I am looking for the point where I can feel her smell. Alex and Noel surprised when I said that I will sleep here every night, but they didn't mind. Moreover, I talked to Alex and he allowed me to apply in at the school where Steven applied too. I needed to talk to him anyway. Furthermore, we quarrel with Aaron every day. He doesn't understand what's wrong with me. I don't like to kiss him. I think I doesn't love him anymore. Despite this, I don't want to break up with him. First of all, because I'm afraid he'll do something again and secondly, he means to me to be popular. I know it's awful and I take advantage of him, but he deserves it after all what he almost did.

"Liz!" Jewels said. We sat on my bed.

"Huh?" I asked.

"You thought again. You know that you can trust me." She said. I sighed.

"I know and thank you. I don't deserve you, but I need more time to process what happened." I said.

"We haven't talked in four weeks. Why did you invite me here if you don't want to talk?" She asked.

"I don't know. I just feel alone." I looked at my hands.

"What's up with Aaron?" She asked.

"I don't want to talk about him." I mumbled. She sighed.

"What do you want to do?" She asked. I shrugged. "Do you want to me to make your makeup?" I nodded with a smile. She stood up and walked to my desk.

"Top drawer." I said.

"I...know." She said slowly but didn't say anything.

"What?" I asked. She didn't say anything or move. "Did you find something?" I asked. I stood up and walked next to her. She held a piece of paper to me with writing on it. After I saw who wrote it, I rather take out the paper from her hand and I sat down on my bed. She sat next to me.

Dear Liz,

I have no idea how to start this letter. There is so much in my head. So much has happened. Too much. I'm so sorry about what happened in the hospital. I'm sure you hate me, but I still wanted to tell you I don't hate you. Since I have been here with you as if tied to you by an invisible rope and I couldn't and can prevent my feelings. If someone had said you would be the only one for me then I would laugh. Since you may never read this and rather throw it out, I boldly describe here that I love you. Not as a friend or a sister but as someone I have not loved in my life if like you. You know, Romeo and Juliet fit us exactly. We are very different, and this is the end of it. Love kills. Now I know. Maybe it was all a mistake, but you are my most beautiful mistake could never have been. For this, however, I cannot and will never apologize. I try to focus on my tasks to forget you, although every time I think you're going to read it and I think contemptuously back to everything that happened to me I could cry. Yet you have a right to know what happened. You kissed me drunk at that party, Liz. I thought you would remember this the next day and I was afraid of that. However, when you had no idea in the morning what had happened the night before I should have been relieved, but something hurt inside. Around my heart. Now I know what it is. The point is, I want you to be happy. With Aaron or with someone else. It doesn't matter. Believe yourself that you are capable of anything you want to do in your life and let no one else decide instead of you. Laugh a lot and be happy. I try to be that too.

P.S.: Take care of yourself! The cheese eater monsters can be anywhere!

Love you, A.