A total trainwreck

Chapter two

This song is my parents wedding song btw👆

Trigger Warning: I'm talking about a toxic break up with my parents involving arrests and substance abuse

So I was 4 years old nearly 5 when my parents got married three days before my birthday in 2011 (my brother was not born at this point)

The wedding was BEAUTIFUL
My mum wore a tight fitted dress that "poofed" out at the waist like a princess dress
My dad wore a grey and silver suit and my sister and I as flower girls wore cute little white dresses with a sliver band at the waist with a sliver flower at the side of it
My mother's bridesmaids wore silver long tight dresses with white pearls on the side
It was a magical day

But the things that people didn't see was things like this:
As you have probably figured my parents relationship was TOXIC but not many people knew
My father had commented so much on my moms body (idk exactly what he said or when) but it had made her so self conscious to the point when she was getting ready for the wedding she had multiple panic attacks and was scared of what my father would think of her
My parents got married because they wanted my brother and my mother felt like she needed to get married in order to have her third child due to being a Christian and already having two kids at 18 and 24 and not being married
So when my parents had split up my father always told me that he only ever married my mom for my brother and didn't want to marry her and didn't see the point at the time in spending thousands of pounds and money they didn't have just to make my brother and sign a piece of paper now I didn't find this out until two weeks ago but apparently my father had also said to my mom when they were together that he would want nothing more than my mom to walk down the isle and be stood up in front of everyone there and my dad not be waiting there for her
Now WTF like what man wants that for the woman he is meant to love NO ONE
Do you see how toxic he is the fact he would say things like this to my mum

The breakup:
A few years later (jan 2015)
My parents called me and my sister down from upstairs my sister was Nearly 16 and I was 7
My sister and I came down from upstairs, we were watching a really funny moment from a dvd that had been published of our dancing, yes we were both dancers, we were both laughing and when my parents looked at each other in guilt are laughter was washed away with in a split second
We knew something bad was going to happen or to be said

They said they needed to tell us something and then the rest of my memories were a bit of a blur
I know:
Everyone was crying
I didn't believe it was true and felt they were for some reason lying or joking
My sister had said she had seen the breakup coming
My sister left the house and without telling anyone ran and went to her friends house (late at night) after ten minutes she called though
I was just in shock and didn't know what to say
My father slept over than night and cried myself to sleep for 5 months everyday

I know what you are thinking well yes breakups are hard and a lot of kids go through it so why did you react so badly
Well you will find out in the next chapter

The next chapter will cover my relationship with my parents and siblings after the breakup

Thank you for reading
I love all of you
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Thank you and stay safe x