Let You Love Me A Terrell Clarricoates Story

Part Five

I woke up to the bright morning sun shining through the blinds of my room.
'Wow I had such a crazy dream' I open my eyes and freak out momentarily because I'm not in my bed at home, I'm in an unfamiliar room. Then it clicks, I'm in LA. I met Terrell.
I yawn getting out of bed and head into the bathroom to shower. I wonder how today will unfold, when will the TikTok challenges begin? Will I get to work with Terrell?
After finishing my shower and morning routine I walk out of my room and down the stairs to the kitchen and see some of the guys eating whilst talking amongst themselves. I glance at the clock and it reads 7:15 in the morning. This whole time change thing has really gotten to me, in Tennessee it would be 9:15 in the morning. My feet pad across the cold tiles of the kitchen as I open the fridge. I scan the inside, my eyes stopping on the egg carton and I see a package of bacon. I grab both and put them on the counter.
"Morning guys" a dark rich voice comes from behind me making me jump slightly. I didn't even have to look up to know who the voice belonged to. My heart fluttered a little and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I felt someone come up from behind me, the familiarity of a light smell of cologne wafted into my nose.
"Whatcha making?" A strong Canadian accent filled my ears. I leaned back into him, I chuckled looking up at him, my head resting just below his collarbone.
"I'm making eggs and bacon" I said. A smirk ran across his face as he looked down at me; his soft chocolate eyes looking into my green orbs.
"Will you make extra?" He asked in a begging tone. I smiled because he's just so cute.
"I guess I'll slave away for the both of us" I say in a sarcastic tone. His smile grows bigger as he leans down and kisses the top of my head.
He walks over to the kitchen table and sits beside the guys chatting with them, I go back to focusing on making us breakfast.
'I could get use to it just being the two of us, me cooking, him just being him.' I cringe inwardly at my thought. As much as I long for  a relationship with him, I still have to get to know him. He's a stranger to me. For now. I smile at the thought.
I finished breakfast and we sat and ate; I remained quiet just listening to the guys chatter. The girls started coming down the stairs waking up one by one till they're all awake. I walked outside and laid on the hammock in the yard. I love feeling the sunshine on my face. Right now it's November and cold back in Tennessee so I'm enjoying a break from winter.
I hear birds chirping off in the distance and the water flowing from a nearby stream. It so isolated and peaceful, almost reminds me of home.
My eyes open as I hear the door creak open, I peered over the end of the hammock seeing Kaylin and Terrell walking out onto the balcony. I internally groaned hoping that she wasn't choosing him to single out. I couldn't hear what they were saying but I watched their body language. Hers more upright and confident. She seemed content with whatever she was saying to him.
Terrell on the other hand seemed more stiff and appeared to be uncomfortable with his arms crossed, his back was to me but it seemed like he was leaning away from her.
I watched as she stepped forward running her hand over his, I just sat there in shock as I watched it travel up his arm to his chest.
She had her hand on my man, well it was on Terrell's chest.
Again there was just talking; all of a sudden I watched as Terrell wrapped his hand over hers and yank it off his chest, pushed her aside and walked down the deck stairs into the yard. I went back to pretending I was sleeping so I wouldn't get caught eavesdropping.
Footsteps in the grass gradually got louder until they stopped right beside the hammock. I peeked through one barely open eye up at Terrell. He did not look happy, if anything he looked upset, but not mad.
"You lied to me" he said. I quickly sat up in the hammock, it rocked side to side and I kept ahold of the sides so I wouldn't get thrown out.
"What did she say to you?" I asked, my voice no louder than a mouse. His eyes met mine, and I could tell he was disappointed with me.
"She told me about how you guys used to be friends and how she knows you better than you know yourself, she told me that she knows you're secretly obsessed with me, that you have photos and videos of me saved on your phone and that you do know who I am and that you lied". My stomach churned and my eyes begun to water. I knew she would do something like this, I just didn't anticipate it being this soon. I didn't have any time to mentally prepare myself.
I hung my head in shame, but refused to say anything. I didn't know what to say, my hands trembled and the tears I tried to hold back trickled down my cheeks staining my lips and chin. We sat in an uncomfortable silence for what seemed like forever. I wiped my tears off my face but kept my head down.
The hammock rocked gently as I felt him sit down beside me. We were shoulder to shoulder, his arm wrapped around my lower back. I could feel his eyes burning into me but I refused to look him in the eyes. I was ashamed of lying to him.
"Katherina" he said softly, I just shook my head, more tears forming in my eyes.
" I didn't want to tell you that I liked you because it's silly. I don't know anything about you except what you told over your live broadcastings. I liked the idea of you, what you were about and how you reacted to certain scenarios you played out in your POVS. But for her to say I'm obsessed, is entirely blowing it out of proportion. She wouldn't have any idea what I have on my phone nor how I feel about anything or anyone, because we no longer live in the same state and aren't friends. I kicked her out of my life for a reason." My voice is quiet and disconsolate. I remained in the same position, my head down, eyes looking at my hands in my lap. Hot tears streamed down my face. But I remained silent. For a moment I thought he was going to get up and leave me here alone but he readjusted his body more so to face me, wrapping both of his large, muscular arms around me pulling me into a tight hug.
"I'm not mad that you lied about something so small, but please don't ever feel like you have to lie to me again about anything" he said his breath hitting my ear. All I could muster was a small nod of the head. I turned more facing him and hugged him back, putting my face in the crook of his shoulder. We just sat like that for a while until I felt him pull away. He looked at me, I glanced at him making eye contact for a short second and then looking back down. He reached out grabbing my chin softly with his hand forcing me to look at him. His other hand reached up and wiped the tears that remained on my cheeks, off.
" I still like you Katerina, more than I should without getting to know you. I don't care that you came knowing who I was or being a fan because you're the only one in the house who greeted and talk to me like an actual person instead of some idol that is above them. I feel comfortable around you, and that comes natural. So how about we just start over, yeah?" He asked still watching me. I smile and wipe the remainder of tears away and hug him while nodding my head yes. I pull away and I see him smiling.
"Good then you should join us at the pool" he said excitedly. To say I was self conscious, would be putting it lightly. I struggled with my weight all my life, fluctuating between a healthy and unhealthy weight. Even though I lost the extra pounds I had, I still didn't like my body. The stretch marks, the never ending love handles that I just couldn't shake. Looking in the mirror I saw myself as bigger than I was, and half of the body dysmorphia came from Kaylin.
She always fat shamed me, told me to just diet and exercise like her and I'd be thin and pretty.
But now knowing she never did those things either, her secret was anorexia and drug addiction. She would refuse to eat anything for a day, then binge her food the next, and each day she would smoke constantly to keep the nausea down from lack of food. She slept a lot and had no energy let alone body muscle. So obviously I was comparing myself to someone underweight and it sucks now knowing  I always thought I was huge.
"Katerina?" I heard my name come from his lips. I love the way he said my name, with his Canadian accent still heavy on his tongue.
" Is Kaylin the one that invited you?" I asked.
"Yes but she said it was all the girls in the house so that means you as well" he said, a smirk playing on his lips.
"I'll join but I don't know if I wanna get in the water yet." I replied. I watched as his eyes lit up and a huge grin curled his lips and revealed his bright, straight teeth.
'Why do I feel like this is going to be a disaster? What if he's in on her plan to embarrass me? What if he doesn't truly like me? What if I'm going to get hurt by the end of this?' My brain kept playing over and over the what if's as I walked into the house and up to my room. I put my bikini on, looking at myself in the body length mirror.
'What if Terrell doesn't find me attractive in a swimsuit? What if he doesn't - Kat quit. If he doesn't like you for you, then he just isn't the one, okay? Just let loose and have fun for once. Don't let what Kaylin said about you affect your day, obviously Terrell cared enough to come sort it out instead of just turning on you. Not everyone is out for your demise' I took a deep breath and stared at the mirror, my reflection in front of me showed a tan and toned girl, average chest and hips with a belly button piercing and tattoos that traced my left hip and rib cage. The black and white leopard stared back at me, almost as a reminder that I am not weak. That I can do this. I rolled my eyes at the pathetic thought and reached for a sundress to throw over my suit.
Here goes nothing.